Humorous Wedding Toasts to the Newlyweds

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Humorous Wedding Toasts to the Newlyweds

Learning to Love

To the newlyweds,

When you learn to love hell, you will be in heaven!

Forsake Not

Forsake not an old wife, for the new is not comparable to her.

A new wife is as new wine: when she is old, thou shalt drink her with pleasure.

A Clean Shirt

Here’s that you may always have

A clean shirt

A clean conscience

And a dollar in our pocket.

Health and Prosperity

Here’s to health and prosperity,

To you and all your posterity.

And them that doesn’t drink with sincerity,

That they may be damned for all eternity!

Diplomacy

Getting married is like getting a masters degree in diplomacy.

In just two short years you will develop the ability to tell your husband to go to hell,

So that he will look forward to making the trip.

Facing Problems

Sooner or later, in every marriage, you will encounter problems:

When this time comes, you must take the bull

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