Humorous Wedding Speech

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Hello Everyone! 11 Days! Holy Cow! Attached is the itinerary for the weekend. I have a few requests for the all of the craziness:

1. Please try your absolute hardest to be on time. This will make everything so much smoother.

2. Due to the fact that my parents have spent insane amounts of money on this wedding. It is our goal that it remains a classy event. That being said. I would really appreciate if during the day alcohol consumption is limited to some mimosas in the morning and possibly a beer on the party bus during pictures. I would really appreciate everyone to be sober (or very close to it) for the ceremony.

3. At the reception we will all be sitting at a head table. Therefore all eyes will be on us. I would like you all to take it

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