Humorous Wedding Speech

Roger, we have been best friends since freshman year of highschool and I am truly honored to give the first toast on such momentous evening. You have come so far from that scrawny kid that couldn't manage to squeeze out even a syllable to a girl other than your mom. You have been there for me when I have needed you most and I’d like to think I’ve been there for you as well. We’ve had our rough times, I’m pretty sure we have called each other every name in the book at one point or another, and most of those names are too explicit for a family friendly wedding.
You have been a pain in my ass. But, you have never betrayed me, never said an ill word about me to anyone, you have always been loyal to me. You were never extremely big or outgoing but you have stood up for me, got the crap

Our house was home to you the second you walked in, I could tell it never felt foreign or weird. It was like you had lived there your whole life. Watching you grow up has been the pleasure of my lifetime. You moving out of the house and into college was one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. On the one hand I couldn’t be prouder my little boy was leaving for his first day on the campus of Columbia University. Yet, on the other hand I had a hard time thinking about how I would no longer be seeing you everyday. It was your father who reminded me that you can’t hold a moment in your hand, you have to enjoy it while it's there, not wish for it to stay and impede it from changing into a new and unique moment, one that will shape our experiences just as much as the last. We can’t let the memories of old moments hold us back from fully living in new ones. That is why Roger, when I held you close before you left for Columbia, before you left to start a new chapter in your life, I embraced you and didn’t think about how awful life would be without you there, but how great this moment was with you in my