How Photography Changed My Life

I appreciate my past. The vast amount of pain and love I was exposed to and the understanding of the disaster they can become when intertwined, has allowed me to grow emotionally strong. Not a single day goes by when I do not think about my childhood, when a kiss from my sister transported me away from all my troubles, when my fear to love had not yet developed, or when I could still openly trust. I once embodied confidence. However, as I now stare at the photograph before me, I realize that person no longer exists. It astounds me that only three events needed to take place in order to change my life forever. I only was three year-old when my parents announced their divorce. I was only four years-old when my mother left my sister and I in Puerto Rico with my grandmother for six months, while she moved to Connecticut. I was only five years-old when I realized I had moved 1,500 miles away from my father. I remember very little of those three events, yet they seemed to have determined my entire life, the language barriers I faced when socializing at school, my inability to read or write properly until the third grade, my shy character until the sixth grade, everything that I thought was ever wrong

This time there was a promise of a new life with a blended family. The little girl in the photograph believed that love was the strongest driving that ever existed, but the girl that stands before me now, knows financial need is much more powerful. The day we moved in to live with my stepfather, Nelson, was the day my mom had officially lost the ability to financially maintain my sister and me. I can now only imagine what I once thought was excitement in her eyes, for now I am aware that it was most likely fear. With that being said, I know love was the reason for moving as well. It is still evident that Nelson and Mama love each other “to the moon and back” or “with all their