When you hear the term “hooking up” you generally think of a sexual encounter with a stranger, but as explained in the book Hooking Up: Dating, Sex, and Relationships on Campus by Kathleen Bogle, this is not the true definition of the term because there is no true definition of the word. Bogle effectively addresses the social issue of hooking up as well as accurately addresses the ambiguity of the term itself in her book as he goes through the history of dating and how things have progressively changed over the last 115 years as well as the atmosphere of the college campus and how it is ideal for hooking up. She moves into the actual hook up and what exactly that consists of, next into the biases between the sexes and then into relationships after college and how they differ from the ones in college.
Bogle begins the book by stating that the books purpose is not to judge the act of hooking up nor does she believe in the false definition that hooking up means having sex. She states that she understands that hooking up can be kissing, can be actual sex, or can be anything in between the two. She states that hooking up is just simply when you are meeting up with a person of the other sex and having these casual encounters but not embarking on dates nor requiring any type of commitment from the other person.
Then, she moves into the history of dating starting in about the 1900s with the calling era. During the calling era, the woman was in charge. The girl and her mother would talk about a boy and if the mother saw him as fit, she would call him to come over and he would meet the family. If he was approved by the woman’s family, then the end result was marriage. This would only happen in wealthier households at this time because t...
... middle of paper ...
...are seen as objects so as long as they are not the ones that are taking advantage of the situation then it makes it okay. Men are expected to take advantage of women so when they are out hooking up with women they are not looked at negatively but if women go out and do that then they are going to be. This is the double standard that is started in college and leads into the latter years. Women feel the need to dress nice for men and compete with one another but at the same time they are still expected not to be “easy”. As women continue to jump from partner to partner, they are reducing their chances of finding the long-term relationship that they are truly longing for. Bogle says that excluding couples can develop but that they are rare, which is strange if you look around a campus like Texas A&M University where you see tons of engagements and marriages happening.
Janie's outlook on life stems from the system of beliefs that her grandmother, Nanny instills in her during life. These beliefs include how women should act in a society and in a marriage. Nanny and her daughter, Janie's mother, were both raped and left with bastard children, this experience is the catalyst for Nanny’s desire to see Janie be married of to a well-to-do gentleman. She desires to see Janie married off to a well to do gentleman because she wants to see that Janie is well cared for throughout her life.
Rimer hooks the reader immediately in the opening paragraph by describing a transforming moment in an older woman’s life. The woman was leaving her life and beginning anew; she was going back to college. The women in Rimer’s essay range in age from 37 to 85 years old. Getting married after high school or discouragement by their families to attend college was a reality faced by these women. Colvard’s parents “opposed her going to college” (para.3.). Legare was “married at 19” (para.10). Martindell’s father forced her to withdraw from college (para.17). Previous negative familial attitudes concerning women attending college is a theme throughout the essay.
...History of the Date” she does an efficient job in asserting her claim and strengthens it in various ways. She has a great amount of authority because of her occupation and personal education what the subject matter. Evidence is shown throughout the article to verify the allegation she asserts. Bailey appeals to the audience’s values and needs by exhibited feelings of belongingness and self-esteem. By also using slanted language and slogans, she adds to the support of her argument. The argument in the article was very effective and gives the reader more knowledge about the way dating used to be. Many people do believe that dating was better in different times, but as Bailey presented it was not perfect in older times as well. Dating will always receive negative opinions, but it depends on how we feel about the idea and the knowledge we have about the topic itself.
In the essay by Vanderkam, she says that hook ups “have all but replaced dating at most colleges” (Vanderkam 345). Some support that she uses when proving this was that she said “only half of the women .. had been on six or more dates...a third had been on no more than two” (Vanderkam 345). This shows that this is not just some fad that some kids at colleges are trying to start but rather it is something that is already implemented and has affected most college students. In the short story, Jackson was explaining how all of the citizens were coming together for the lottery when she said “The other boys soon followed his example” after she had saw one boy who had picked up some stones on the way to the lottery. Later in the day after the selection process of the lottery had been completed a person from the crowd yelled “Come on, come on, everyone” (Jackson 1243). Both of these quotes show how quickly the citizens are to listen to and follow the actions of other people. These qualities have even been taught to the children. These two texts show how people are quick to follow the lead of another and that stems down to the younger generation which means that the trait of following will only continue to grow. Also in the essay, Vanderkam said that hook ups have “pervade[d] college culture” (345). This shows
As stated in the book, “college students have much to teach about sex” (8). That is because the values, ideologies, and worldviews of the students are representative of greater American culture. Although flawed, hookup culture on American campuses hold the possibility of accepting a culture of inclusivity, care, pleasure, and freedom while also rejecting predatory behavior, racism, classism, and abuse. Dismissing hookup culture all together is blind to the reality that young adults are going to have sex, and since sex is non-negotiable, one’s aim should be to foster open dialogue and critical thought onto a future where everyone enjoys the ability to freely explore sexuality, sex, and gender on their own
In reaction to the media’s numerous stigmas around college hookup culture in recent years, sociologists and psychologists have begun to investigate adolescent and young adult hookups more systematically. In “Is Hooking Up Bad for Young Women?” by Elizabeth A. Armstrong, Laura Hamilton and Paula England, this issue is addressed through a reaction to previous articles from sources on opposite sides. One side of the argument over sexual activity for young women places them at risk of “low self esteem, depression, alcoholism, and eating disorders,” while the other side argues that the underlying issue is the “moral panic over casual sex.” This issue has been seen by many as a “sudden and alarming change in youth sexual culture,” but systematic research has shown that experiences of young women in college
Donna Freitas in The End of Sex gives her thoughts on how hookup culture is affecting specifically college students. Her judgment comes out of a space where she wants, “to empower them (participants in hookups) to seek the kinds of relationships they want…” (16). Though her perspective comes from a good place, her argument has points that are shaming, archaic, dismissive, and one sided. Her argument seems to be that of a pro-woman stance at times, neglecting one of the key feminism ideals of choice. Freitas uses patriarchal arguments to back up her ideas, tarnishing her perspectives that come off as woman empowering. The book, The End of Sex, neglects to be conscious of female independence
The main character tells us that she has a nice family that consists of her husband John and a little baby, but John does unusual things that someone would not expect in a normal marriage. She says, “John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that in marriage.” (Gilman 647). Men back then did not treat or think highly of women due to men being more superior than them. John also seems to complain
Her parents meet at a social gathering in town and where married shortly thereafter. Marie’s name was chosen by her grandmother and mother, “because they loved to read the list was quite long with much debate over each name.” If she was a boy her name would have been Francis, so she is very happy to have born a girl. Marie’s great uncle was a physician and delivered her in the local hospital. Her mother, was a housewife, as was the norm in those days and her father ran his own business. Her mother was very close with her parents, two brothers, and two sisters. When her grandmother was diagnosed with asthma the family had to move. In those days a warm and dry climate was recommended, Arizona was the chosen state. Because her grandma could never quite leave home, KY, the family made many trips between the states. These trips back and forth dominated Marie’s childhood with her uncles and aunts being her childhood playmates.
The portrayal of gender in this text shows the husband as the prime breadwinner of the household while the wife stays home to clean the house and tend for the children. This is clearly our traditional family lifestyle of a household. Now although this can be considered traditional, we clearly see this lifestyle outdated in our twenty-first century society today. The text is demonstrated to show the young daughter her place in society, and teach the young girl the everyday tasks she will need to know in order to run a household smoothly and successfully. It is also clear that the mother’s life reflects all of these ideals that a husband should be the one working and the wife is to be happy and content by taking great pride and satisfaction in the caring for her home. The mother also has strong view on the behavior for a women in society and throughout the story gives many warning on her daughters behavior such as “on Sundays try and walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming”. (Kincaid 56) This is a clear statement from the mother tha...
Through two main characters author involves us in a specific business going on between Leo Finkle, a lonely rabbinical student, and Pinye Salzman, a matchmaker. In order to get a good congregation Leo supposed to be married. How a man, who was studying for six years and who never was in a company of woman, easily can find a wife? The same way as his parents did. He went to the matchmaker. It was not so easy for Leo to appeal to Salzman, because he hoped to find the wife by himself. He wanted to be in love before he gets married. But he resorted to help. It was a firs time when he turned his mind over. Pine Salzman, the marriage broker, represented the old generation, and respected the old Jewish tradition. Marriage is a very important part of a Jew's life, and the family is more important than the girl herself is. He does not think about love. It is possible to imagine how Leo was disappointed when Salzmen introduced the girls to him. "Sophie P. Widow. Father promises eight thousand dollars. Has wonderful wholesale business. Also realestate." "Lily H. Regular. Father is successful dentist thirty-five years. Interested in professional man. Wonderful opportunity." Moreover, "She is a partikiler. She wants the best." Leo's interest to Lily was aroused, and he began seriously to consider calling on her. Finally they met. She provoked him to say the strange, but a very capacious and valuable phrase: "I think, that I came to God not because I loved Him, but because I did not." But Lily didn't dream about him, she dreamed about an invented hero. After this date he turned his mind over again. He felt that he could not love a girl. Although Leo returned to his regular routine, he was in panic and depression from one thought: nobody loves him and he does not love anybody either. There was no bride for him.
Marriage is another aspect of families in the 1700's that is very different from today. Most girls in the 1700's married extremely early around th...
Mary went from not even attending school in Russia, to star pupil in America, illustrating the promise that America had to offer immigrants. American afforded Mary with opportunities that were impossible in her home country of Russia. Even though Frieda also lived in America, her circumstances represent the realities of the Old World. For instance, Frieda’s only way of learning about American history was through Mary, as she was not afforded time to read while working. By not attending school, Frieda did not only became stuck in the Old World mentality in terms of education but also in terms of marriage. Her father “had put Frieda to work out of necessity. The necessity was hardly lifted when she had an offer of marriage, but my father would not stand in the way of what he considered her welfare” (Antin, 218). Frieda was not given the opportunity to marry for love, as was the American way, but was married out of necessity for her welfare, reminiscent of the Old World mentality. Public education provided Mary with the opportunity to marry not because she had to in order to survive, but because she wanted to. The stark contrast between the lives of Frieda, representing life in the
There has recently been an increase in casual sex and promiscuity throughout millennials. Although millennials have fewer partners, they are having more casual hookups. Today “a large generation gap in both attitudes toward premarital sex and number of sexual partners” is greatly affecting our society (Kaplan). Promiscuity is increasing and close relationships are fading. Many are worried the world of dating will soon disappear. This promiscuity “creates a sense that hooking up has replaced traditional dating as the primary means of developing and maintaining relationships among young people, especially college students” (“Is Casual Sex on The Rise in America”). People are not marrying until later in life. They spend much of their younger years single, but not alone. They jump around from person to person, such as in Huxley’s dystopia. Although, unlike Huxley’s dystopia, relationships still exist. Many eventually find their partner and become married later on in
Paul, E. L., & Hayes, K. A. (2002). The casualties of “casual” sex: A qualitative exploration of the phenomenology of college students’ hookups. Journal of personal and Social Relationships, 19, 639-661.