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Session Three:
Bill and Kate
Session Three Goal:
The goal is to reestablish trust in the relationship between Bill and Kate. It could be difficult to move forward with this couple if Kate believes that Bill did not really leave his girlfriend. Gottman & Silver (2012) explain that “The betrayer can’t expect the spouse to accept reassurance that the affair is history. No matter how many times the transgressor says, ‘I told you, it’s over!’ the partner needs proof” (p. 164). The couple needs share their emotions and back up their words with actions of change. The conversations with the couple should move from content to process at this time.
Marital Assessment:
This session may involve what ways Kate would feel that Bill is committed to their

Weeks & Fife (2013) point out some different phases of forgiveness which might be useful to unpack with the couple such as “ceasing to seek justice, ceasing to feel anger, wishing the other person well and restoring relational trust” (p. 271). It is important for the couple to begin the process of forgiveness once both of them have worked through the affair and are moving towards reconciliation. “As the couple begins to comprehend and appreciate how they failed to address various issues in their relationship, they begin to see how they made themselves vulnerable to the experience of an affair” (Weeks & Fife, 2013, p. 272). Once a deeper understanding is achieved, than a deeper forgiveness can be achieved as well.
Intervention Strategies Depending on what areas the couple wants to work on, it might be helpful to offer some techniques for reducing obsessive thinking about infidelity. Some of the techniques include
1. Writing the love letter involves having the affair partner write a love letter to the betrayed partner.
2. Challenging distorted thinking by decreasing self-defeating thoughts and increasing self-reassuring and calming