Maintaining Long Distance Relationships through the use of Gratitude, Refraining from Idealization, Commitment, and Missing a Romantic Partner Alesandria Posada California Lutheran University Long distance relationships are a common trend amongst Generation Y, and have been featured in popular culture since the turn of the century; this includes movies like Going the Distance, novels such as Dear John and television shows like MTV’s Catfish. With the increase in young adults’ college attendance, long distance relationships are essential if couples are forced to live apart from one another to pursue separate educational goals. In fact, “between 25% to 40% of romantic relationships are long distance,” relationships (Guerrero, Andersen, & Afifi, 2014). A couple’s geographical separation can also include “military deployment, business travel, incarceration, and family responsibilities. The duration of a geographic separation may range from a few minutes and hours to many months and years,” (Le, Korn, Crockett, Loving, 2010). For those who are about to enter into a long distance relationship, or find themselves in the beginning stages of this unique experience, the burning questions couples possess is will it last, and how can I make it work? The answer to this question has many variables to it, including how new the relationship is and the level of commitment, but relationship maintenance behaviors can be applied to keep the long distance relationship going. Defining Relationship Maintenance Couples maintain a relationship both consciously and unconsciously because they care about their significant other and find happiness with their partner. Dindia and Canary (1993) came up with four definitions that explain relationship mainten... ... middle of paper ... ...t they can be more fulfilling than geographically close relationships. Couples who appreciate one another, refrain from idealizing the other person, and who commit to and miss each other can make a long distance relationship work. These three tips are useful as more college students are faced with leaving their partners to obtain an education, young adults must move to other states or cities to pursue job opportunities, or military men and women are deployed over seas. It might seem daunting to think about the time and effort that will need to be given in order to salvage and maintain a long distance relationship, and peers may warn you about the complications and stress that come with this type of relationship, but if two people are committed to making the relationship work and use appropriate maintenance behaviors, a long distance relationship can be successful.
“what have we learned.” To prevent any kind of confusion, Waldinger divides what he has learned from this study into three lessons. He reinforces the big value of relations with some metaphors: “the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.” He wants to convey how threatening the loneliness is. “loneliness kills.” To stop any doubt that his metaphor is exaggerated, he supports it with evidences, facts and detailed surveys: “more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely,” “The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.” These surveys and facts mainly support not only his point but also his aim beyond that talk. The power of relationships: “good relationships keep us happier and healthier.” He also illustrates the previous point by reports from the study: “Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.” Additionally, he illustrates how the relationships can keep us healthier: “High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.” Waldinger develops that the relationships do not just protect physical health, they protect brains: “the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory
...e relationship work so well. Even though they are driven by different means the goal is the same.
Fairy tales tell us that once upon a time a girl met a boy; they fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Reality is not that simple. Long-term relationships force couples to get to know each other, involve themselves in each others’ worlds, fight through the hard times, and eventually develop deeper connections as noted through distinctive stages of Knapp’s relationship model. Although I have dated the same person for over two years, our communication through relationship stages makes it seem as though I am now dating a different person than the one I met years ago. Following dissolution and subsequent repair, I realize the most exhilarating of roller coaster rides develop through sets of ups and downs, much like the stages on how our relationship is built.
Miller, Rowland S. Intimate Relationships. 6th Ed. New York; The McGraw- Hill Companies, 2012. Print.
Long distance relationships (also known as LDR’s) are one of the toughest types of relationships to maintain. Many variables can affect this type of relationship
Relationships play an important role in everyday life. It is essential for the positive, social and mental development of the people required in the relationship. It starts off with infatuation and goes through several stages. Somewhere along the way the relationship can take a toll and will take the brunt of the fall. It’s a theory that describes how relationships and relational partners change over time. This communication theory research paper will identify the theorist, his educational and professional background, along with other contributions that he has made. It will define the theory and explain it using tangible examples. Finally, I will describe what I have learned from my research.
In our culture, technology serves as an instrumental aspect of our lives. Regardless of where you turn, you are constantly surrounded by technology. Whether it is our cellphones that spend their entire lives within an arm’s reach of us, our computers, or the newest wave of technology that is moving us towards tablets, much of our life is lived in front of screens. With these advancements comes the notion that there is an application that can solve every life problem we may have. Thanks to technological advancements like text messaging or social media networks, there are plenty of ways a relationship can be sustained for a significant period without personal contact. Unfortunately, most people have a misconstrued belief that these resources are a great substitute for personal time in relationships that have periods of long distance separation. Scientists and relationship experts debate the usefulness of technology in relationships and many do not share the above mentioned belief. They debate if technology helps sustain relationship or helps ruin relationships. Just as social media can be a great way of keeping up with others while they are away, it can also be used to spy on others and assume an intimate connection between anyone who posts on your significant other’s wall often.
Aside from the science behind love, a relationship cannot subsist upon affection alone. While a sense of endearment is helpful, it is not the most important part of a successful relationship. A couple must learn to communicate effectively in order to move forward in their relationship, a couple must also have a personal compatibility and be able to complement each other well. A couple must also be flexible with each other and be able to resolve conflict well, in order to have a workable relationship. Unfortunately, very few couples realize the amount of effort that must be put into a relationship and enter into things blindly. Many could argue that this is why, on average, a marriage in the US only lasts about 8.8 years and American marriages have a divorce rate of over 40 percent.
The writer started the article by showing her own opinion clearly about the long distance relationships through the dating websites “I have doubts about a long-distance relationship that started through a dating site. ”[3]. Then she started to give an example of a relationship via the Internet.... ... middle of paper ... ...
“Relationships are what make up our world today, they shape the ways we see things and the way that we do things, relationships affect how we see the world today”. I believe supporting what your partner does, having a great sum of trust and showing your affections towards your partner is what will make a healthy relationship great.
A long distance relationship can have many meanings and experiences may be very different from one person to another. For some people, living a long distance from a loved one may be a normal routine in life, while for some people the occasional distance can be difficult and challenging. A long distance relationship can be for a few days, years, or months can occur over a few days, months. For other people, long distance relationship is just like something normal in their family structure, and other people it is like a new experience.
All of the above points apply to all relationships be it social, romantic or even family relationships.
In short distance relationships, couples see each other daily and force them to have face to face conversations daily. In fact, some go to the same school or work in the same place. This sounds great, however after so many conversations, the
Fingerman, K., & Lang, F. (2004). Growing Together: Personal Relationships across the Life Span. New York: Cambridge University Press.