Happiness, anger, depression, love, and hate, are all common human emotions that are either expressed, or ignored. In the reality struck movie, Ordinary People, the Jarrets family has a difficult time expressing these emotions, which causes much distress in everyone. After the tragic death of a son, parents, Beth and Calvin, do not address any feelings with each other. Moreover, they form a great void with their one surviving son, Conrad. With emotions overflowing and frequent miscommunication, all characters experience fathomless misery. The conflicts between Beth, Calvin, and Conrad could be resolved with necessary discussion and genuine listening to release the burdens placed upon them; however, the family’s tendency to respond to all dilemmas with “silence” or “violence,” results in hospitalizing actions and chaos. Conrad: the guilt stricken boy who attempts his own death. Conrad frequently lets depression sink in and with no correct placement for his feelings. For example, Conrad displays avoidance while quitting his swim team, claiming he was bored and lost his passion of the sport. However, he was actually avoiding the water, for it …show more content…
Beth often masks her feelings, while pretending everything is perfect with a smile on her face. However, under that smile is a million years worth of pain and shock that she never allows herself to accept. For instance, when Beth grieves the death of her son, she acts as if nothing happened and shifts the subject on to something different, like the outfit her husband wears. Her use of masking only creates greater voids and a weaker connection between the entire family. It pains her to look at Conrad, for she lost her favorite son, so she masks this pain by only speaking to him when he needs to do homework, brush his teeth, or go to bed. Therefore, she stays shallow and only attends to the surface
There are many important themes and subjects addressed in the book. Most importantly is how Conrad deals with his emotions and comes to accept and forgive what has happened to him. And the author shows us that this can only be done by love, support, and trust. Conrad thinks by not expressing his emotions he is less vulnerable but instead he drifts farther apart from his family. The ordeal of attempted suicide and treatment has left him feeling insecure and vulnerable and he instinctively puts up shields. Trying to appear calm and determined on the outside, he is still very confused, angry and is afraid he slip away again only to kill himself. He still feels responsible for his brother's death due to the fact his mom doesn't want to forgive him and the only way to punish himself is to deny, suppress, and control his feelings lest they give him away. It is not until the very end when Conrad?s father, Calvin finally stops skirting around the subject but tells him that he loves him and that they finally develop a sense of trust and security in one another: -
...lt that he caused problems to everyone with whom he had contact. After much struggle, however, Conrad realized that he was not the problem and that he did not need to hold back his feelings. Calvin originally thought that Beth was perfect and was confused as to the extent of his responsibility as a father. With Dr. Berger's help, Calvin came to understand that Beth was not the ideal mother and that the things he blamed himself for were not really his fault. The conclusion can be drawn that one needs external help in order to develop psychologically. Calvin and Conrad voluntarily met with Dr. Berger in search of assistance while Beth refused his aid. This may be the reason that Beth was not able to reach emotional maturity while Calvin and Conrad matured greatly.
Even after Mary agreed to speak with Alice, she faced the wall, and was hesitant to look at Alice when they spoke. ” I don’t know how you’re being so strong. She looked at me, tears on her cheeks” (57). This quotation, spoken by Mary, is a perfect example of Alice’s ability to be strong while others are weak. Of the two siblings, it is clear that Alice is far superior at containing her emotions.
Every time Buck or the suicide is brought up she changes the subject, avoiding, or goes silent, withdrawing. She masks her emotions telling everyone the family is fine. In many instances Conrad tries to talk to his mom; one time he finds her in his brother’s room. He asks her questions and she keeps trying to walk away and eventually shuts her bedroom door, ending any sort of a conversation. Later, it appears she has matured and has a conversation with her son. She finds him outside on the lawn and they talk for a bit, until Conrad mentions Buck, and the conversation ends. Beth is even violent with her husband, yelling at him to control her son or ignore their issues. Her final act of violence was leaving, leaving the family, and hoping to leave her problems. If she had learned to communicate all these could have been avoided. She did not feel safe to speak and no one inquired deep enough to penetrate her hard
She is not able to talk about Buck or treat Conrad as Buck’s equal. It seems like after Buck’s death Beth is not willing to love and care for Conrad because of the emotional trauma she went through. There are a few scenes in the film that describes both her silence and violence well. The first one is when she is not willing to take a picture with Conrad when all the family gets together. She is very dismissive about it and tries her hardest to get out of taking the picture, a form of withdrawing. The ends up in a large argument between Beth, Conrad, and Calvin. A way she could have gone about this better is explaining why she does not feel comfortable with situation and using the C.R.I.B method. Beth should to talk to Conrad about what they both want and how they can come to a compromise. If the two together brainstorm ideas maybe they could have achieved a common goal. A way Beth exhibits violence is when she mentions to Conrad and Calvin that she found that Conrad had quit the swim team. She storms and starts to yell and accuse Conrad. This is called attacking. What Beth should of done is approach Conrad and speak to him respectfully and only state observable facts. Together they could have discussed the reason why Conrad quit the swim team and what needs to be done about
After coming out of the hospital, Conrad is forced to relearn how to deal with every day situations. Learning how to establish routines and manage his own life is Conrad's first step on his way to recovery and self-discovery. Beth deals with Conrad's suicide attempt in a very different way, she is very enclosed and in a constant state of denial. This is just the first of many actions until she reveals her true colors. "Will you talk to him this morning? About the clothes. He's got a closet full of decent things and he goes off every day looking like a bum, Cal" (7).
Conrad suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress disorder and Survivor’s guilt. In the beginning, we see that he was losing appetite, as he did not want to eat the French toast. He was re-experiencing flashbacks and nightmares of the boating accident throughout the movie. He had diminished interest in activities like he left the swimming team, which he really loved. He showed the symptoms of avoidance, did not talk much at the dining table with his family, was in his room most of the time, and he stopped hanging out with friends.
Throughout the film a focus on family and the dynamics is prominent. A traumatic event, the loss of a son, brother, and friend, has influenced the Jarrett greatly. Due to the circumstances in which Conrad, a severely depressed teenager and the main character, was present during the death of his brother, feelings of guilt had built up in this young man. A great deal of stress and tension is built between the family members because of this tragic accident. Here is where the concept of, change in one part of the familial system reverberates through out other parts. (Duty, 2010) The relationship between the Conrad and his mother become even more absent because, in the film it is presented to show that the mother blames and has not forgiven Conrad for the death of his brother Buck. Six months after the death of his brother Conrad attempts suicide with razors in the bathroom of his home. His parents commit him to a psychiatric hospital and eight months later, he is trying to resume his “old” life.
After Karen dies, something in Conrad’s mind sparks, and he begins to think a lot about Jordan. While visiting Dr. Berger, Conrad is a mess as they discuss his brother, and all he begs for is forgiveness. When Berger asks what for, Conrad cries“[f]or killing him, don’t you know that? For letting him drown” (Guest 223). Here, Conrad exposes his emotions towards the death of his brother. All this time, guilt has been Conrad’s shadow, and he has kept it to himself. He feels as if he could have done more to help save Buck and therefore, must take all the blame. Conrad cannot move past this until he is somehow punished, and until that happens, he will not make a full recovery. Conrad feels guilty for being unable to help Jordan, but he also feels guilty for another reason. While Conrad talks with his doctor about Buck, Berger addresses an important issue with Conrad. While he looks for someone to assign the blame to, Conrad becomes frustrated and Berger explains to him that blame is not the moral of the story. He tells it as “[n]o one needs [him] to be Buck. It’s okay to just be [himself]” (Guest 224). Conrad has been trying to fill Jordan’s shoes ever since he left. He wanted to take on the responsibility of being a perfect son for his parents. Conrad knew a big task like this requires lots of hard work, and eventually, he just could not handle all the pressure anymore.
“The story employs a dramatic point of view that emphasizes the fragility of human relationships. It shows understanding and agreemen...
Guilt. Experience. Death. Theodore Finch (“Finch”) and Violet Markey live in the small town of Bartlett, Indiana. Violet is portrayed as popular, pretty, and everything that Finch, who deals with constant gibes from peers who refer to him as “freak”, is not; however, much of Violet’s status is a guise hiding her true feeling since the death of her sister Eleanor. When the two teenagers meet for the first time on the ledge of the school’s bell tower, it is evident that they may not be so different after all. In this journal I will be questioning, visualizing, and connecting.
Lack of communication and poor communication is a big problem in the novel. Beth thinks she and Conrad have poor communication. This is clear when Beth gets mad at Conrad be cause wasn’t the first to know that he quit swim team. Calvin and Beth have communication issues too. They always have different views on things. Beth wanted to go on vacation and Calvin thought it was best to stay home until Conrad is settled again. Calvin wants to talk about everyone’s problems when Beth feels it’s best to move on, and forget about the past and only think about the future. Their lack of communication to agree on things turns their marriage from good to bad and Beth ends up leaving Calvin and Conrad.
Markus Zusak’s novel The Book Thief is set in a time of misery and violence, with thousands suffering because of various reasons the readers are introduced to the story of a young girl whose life starts with insufferable difficulties and ends with it too. Throughout the novel we see many different personalities portrayed in characters who are all going through a difficult phase in their lives, we see how they deal with the obstacles thrown their way and how they control their emotions. Emotions are primarily a give away to a person's true thoughts and character, however, emotions can be hidden by a mask of false lies. People tend to conceal their emotions when it comes to unfortunate events, afraid to look weak most people live
Emotions play a significant part in our daily lives, especially to our overall wellbeing whenever we share these experiences with other people. The ability to express and interpret emotions is an important skill that everyone can improve on that would greatly benefit their interpersonal communication. Our expressions accompany our emotions; they serve as windows that allow other people to know what we are feeling inside. There are several factors that influence how we communicate our feelings.
From the moment they wake up, people experience events that trigger certain emotions. How people react to these events may depend on that person feels during that event. In terms of whether our emotions control us or we control our emotions, I believe that to some extent emotions control us. Because we cannot change how we feel in response to certain stimulus, emotions control us. However, people have some control over whether or not they act on their emotions. Emotions at that given moment can influence our actions. If people can control their reactions, then to some degree we are controlling our emotions. However, the prompts raises several important questions. How can one’s emotions alter other ways of knowing such as perception or reason?