Should we stop lying and she would stop letting people lie to us? In “The Ways We Lie”, Stephanie Ericsson describes lying as “a cultural cancer that… reorders reality until moral garbage becomes as invisible to us as water is to a fish” (Ericsson 186). Ericsson believes that we have accepted lies to the point where do not recognize it anymore. Ericsson has a point, lying should not be tolerated but it should be the unnecessary lies that should not be tolerated. There are lies that are justifiable based on the intent of the person lying. All lies are harmful in their own ways from small lies, like white lies, to big lies, like out-and-out lies.
In “The Ways We Lie”, Ericsson describes the different types of lies: white lie, facades, ignoring
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First Ericsson discuss white lies, she describes white lies as when a person “assumes that the truth will cause more damage than a simple, harmless untruth” (Ericsson 181). A person decides that it is better to tell the lie rather than to tell the truth because of how they perceive the outcome will be. Ericsson believes that people should not use white lies because they’re “[deciding] what is best for someone else” (Ericsson 181). When people use white lies they’re assuming that what they are doing is good for the other person, even if they do not know for sure that the other person will benefit from not knowing. On the other hand in the book “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time” by Mark Haddon, the main character, Christopher does not believe in lying but he uses white lies. Christopher says, “A white lie is not a lie at all. It is where you tell the truth but you do not tell all of the truth” (Haddon 48). In this situation, Christopher’s …show more content…
She lies to the bank so she doesn’t get charged with “$60 in overdraft fees”, out-and-out lie. She does not tell the truth to her husband about her day so he does not “[keel] over,” white lie. She lies to her clients so that she does not get fired for telling the truth about the reason she is late. She lies to her friends so that her friend’s feelings do not get hurt, (Ericsson 181).All of these are justifiable because of the intent. There are consequences to telling the truth in these cases and thus Ericsson needs to lie to avoid the
She admits her struggles with lying as she once attempted to go a week without lying and described it to be “paralyzing.” She also explains how lies can sometimes have positive outcomes such as when the bank calls for her deposit. Without her lie the bank would have charged her $60 in over drafting fees. Ericsson attempts to justify her lies explaining that “there must be some merit to lying.” She makes a personal connection though the lies she tells on a daily basis. Her tone is colloquial yet informational, utilizing terms such as “we.” She explains that “We lie. We all do.” She points out the obvious reasons we lie and the effortless ways we can lie, “we exaggerate, we minimize, we avoid confrontation, we spare people’s feeling, we conveniently forget.” She asks questions, “how much do we tolerate before we become sick and tired of being sick and tired?” to create a conversational tone. In paragraphs 35 through 37, her tone shift from accepting to cynical as she begins to question the limits of lying and their
Viorst opens her article by explaining social lies. She describes these as lies to avoid hurt, such as lying to a cousin by pretending to enjoy dinner. Judith believes they are necessary and acceptable; without them, relationships would be icky and short. By being honest and not telling white lies a person can come off harsh. Furthermore, Viorst thinks that not telling social lies is arrogant.
22). People mindlessly respond to avoid their true emotions. Truthfully, I was not fine, but exploding inside with nervousness. However, I didn’t attempt to burden anyone with my lack of confidence, so I told this untruth. Even though white lies may be harmless, they can lead to other deceptive lies labeled by the authors as gray, red, blue and colorless lies. Why do we tell lies? Interestingly, according to the (Banaji and Greenwald, 2013), “evolutionary biologists have proposed that Homo sapiens is indeed hard-wired to tell lies,” (page 25). Furthermore, we want to appear favorable to our friends and family and this may pressure us to justify our lies. According to (Banaji and Greenwald, 2013) it is referred to as “impression management,” by social psychologists (p.27). Thus, lies allow others to see us as we want to be seen, such as I wanted the group to see me as a confident person who could handle obstacles and superbly interact with
Both Stephanie Ericsson’s essay “The Way We Lie” and William F. Buckley, Jr.’s essay “Why Don’t We Complain” analyze different ways people use lies to help and hurt themselves in their daily lives and how lies influence American culture. Through personal experience and examples Ericsson showed the way people lie to get what they want or to look more lovely. She showed that it is almost impossible to eliminate lies from people’s lives, how American culture has adopted many lies, and how so much is based on simple, "harmless" lies. In Buckley’s essay, he is uncomfortable that in some situations people do not complain. They could use their complaints to make some change. When people are used to keeping silent avoid problems or waiting someone else to solve the problem.
I do not believe that anyone should get their feelings hurt when just saying an innocent white lie could save them so much drama. Also protective lies are very important to me. If someone is dealing with a lot of stress or a deathly illness, there is no need to put more on them. However, when it comes to peace keeping lies, I believe that they should not be used. These lies are very hard not to use, and I find myself using them despite my hardest efforts. Trust-keeping lies are one of the worst lies because I feel forced to choose between my personal morals and a friendship. Although I try not to lie at all, I find that social lies and protective lies are the most acceptable. I find that peace-keeping lies and trust-keeping lies are unacceptable yet I still understand that sometimes they are
When initially asked about the morality of lying, it is easy for one to condemn it for being wrong or even corrupt. However, those asked are generally guilty of the crime on a daily basis. Lying is, unfortunately, a normal aspect of everyday life. In the essay “The Ways We Lie,” author Stephanie Ericsson makes note of the most common types of lies along with their consequences. By ordering the categories from least to most severe, she expresses the idea that lies enshroud our daily lives to the extent that we can no longer between fact and fiction. To fully bring this argument into perspective, Ericsson utilizes metaphor, rhetorical questions, and allusion.
Richard Gunderman asks the question, "Isn 't there something inherently wrong with lying, and “in his article” Is Lying Bad for Us?" Similarly, Stephanie Ericsson states, "Sure I lie, but it doesn 't hurt anything. Or does it?" in her essay, "The Ways We Lie.” Both Gunderman and Ericsson hold strong opinions in regards to lying and they appeal to their audience by incorporating personal experiences as well as references to answer the questions that so many long to confirm.
The society that we live in today is built around lies. Banks lying to customers in order to feed the capitalist mindset, politicians lying to citizens in order to gain power, and charities taking donations with open arms however are stingy when giving back to the cause. The common reason why these organizations lie is to hide what they truly are. People also deceive others in order to hide who they truly are. From a young age, lying becomes engraved into one’s mind, we are taught to walk, talk, and lie.
Are everyday rituals, such as, facades reflected as to being a lie? Simply preparing for a meeting or interview does not come off as lying, although another type of façade such as when someone asks, “Are you okay,” after a death of someone close to you, in reality it is a form of a lie, because you are not being honest. In Stephanie Erricsson’s article “The Ways We Lie,” she discusses many different types of lying, that most wouldn’t even consider. Ericsson claimed, “But façades can be destructive because they are used to seduce others into an illusion” (409). Depending how a façade is used, the outcome can be beneficial or damaging. There are facades that are used to cover up one’s true feelings, in order to protect an individual and then there is a type in which one puts on a mask to cover up how awful of a person they are. Charity, a former friend, deceived me with the qualities of everything she was not, my mom is a great example of when it comes to hiding when she is saddened. In this article “The Ways We Lie,” Stephanie Ericsson has a great point of view on the destructiveness of facades, although, it can very well be used in a good way just as much as in a bad way, in fact, like my protective mother, using facades for mine and my sisters own good and then a conniving friend using facades in
As John Ruskin once said, “The essence of lying is in deception, not in words.” This essence is debated in “The Ways We Lie”, written by Stephanie Ericsson, and “Doubts about Doublespeak”, written by William Lutz. In “The Ways We Lie”, Ericsson talks about the different ways people lie on a day to day basis. By comparison, in “Doubts about Doublespeak”, Lutz discusses the different forms of doublespeak that many individuals frequently use. Lutz considers doublespeak as a language that distorts the meaning of words in order to deceive another person, and only “pretends to communicate” (83). Although both authors agree that lying is about the use of deceptive language, Ericsson describes this use of language as occasionally being necessary,
Stephanie Ericsson’s The Ways We Lie, analyzes and reflects on how lying has simply become the norm in our society. We all lie, there is not one person in the world that does not lie. Most people lie because they are afraid of telling the truth, however what they do not know is telling a lie can lead them in the wrong direction because many things can happen when lying to a person. The person can find out when everything unravels that person will not have trust in you and you would be known as a liar. To every action there is a consequence, so why not deal with just one consequence when telling the
We lie all the time, lying is not something new to our culture. We lie to our parents, we lie to our friends, we even lie to our significant other, but why do we do it? There is not one set reason on why we lie but they can vary from an insignificant reason to something more nefarious. A good operational definition of a lie is “A lie is a false statement to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not the whole truth, intentionally.” (Freitas-Magalhães) We have been raised to know that lying is usually a bad thing, and it’s better to tell the truth, not to mention the circumstances get exponentially worse if you are caught lying. No one wants to be labeled as a liar, or untrustworthy. This may sound unorthodox but I personally think lying is perfectly fine; depending on the situation. If you have a prima-facie duty to be dishonest it’s perfectly acceptable. Ross says a prima facie duty or obligation is an actual duty. “One’s actual duty is what one ought to do all things considered.” (Carson) I’m not the only one who finds this too be true. Ross would also agree with me, He says “Lying is permissible or obligatory when the duty not to lie conflicts with a more important or equal important prima facie duty.” (Carson) As I was doing research on this topic I did read one extremely compelling argument on why we ought not to lie. Aristotle basically said a person who makes a defense for lying could never be trusted. (King.)
Most of us were taught from the time we are children that it is wrong to lie. Our parents, teachers and other adults told us that we should always tell the truth no matter what. That’s why my first reaction is that it is never acceptable to lie regardless of the situation. However, with a closer critical examination of the topic it is easy to see that it is not the best answer. Life is not always so black and white with right and wrong so easily defined. There are times when we might want or even feel we have to tell a lie, but does that make it acceptable? Who gets to say what makes a good reason for lying? These are the questions that make up the grey areas in life.
White lies are defined as diplomatic or well-intentioned deception. There are many different types of white lies that are told, such as, lies of flattery for example; if someone gives another person a gift and the gift was not what the person wanted, this person would reply “thank you so much! I just love it!” This type of white lie is told because telling someone that their gift was undesirable would make the teller look like an inconsiderate being.
Secondly, it is okay to be untruthful if you are trying to protect people. In certain situations, it is safer, and more practical for you to tell a lie rather than putting a loved one in jeopardy. To illustrate you may be in a situation where you are in a serious or dangerous situation, and you do not what anyone else involved, to keep them safe. For example, if you are getting held up for ransom, would you tell the truth to a loved one and get them involved, or lie and keep them safe? The obvious answer is to keep them safe at all costs, even if it means lying. Also, you do not want to put someone in harm’s way, so it would be ...