Christmas Is Wrong

Snow is sticking to the ground, children are on their two week Christmas vacation and commercials advertising unbeatable sales are on constant re-run. Do you ever hear that familiar sound of “Here comes Santa Clause” or what about Salvation Army bells ringing which most people secretly avoid outside the department stores filled with sales to open our wallets for family we either dread seeing or cannot wait to spoil? Christmas is the most dreadful holiday for Americans because of the inconvenient shopping, decorating, and family obligations.

Inconvenient shopping is, without doubt, one reason Christmas is a dreadful holiday. Finding a parking spot at the mall or even the grocery store immediately puts a jolly Christmas shopper in a “Bah Humbug”

It’s Christmas Eve and all through the house aunts, uncles, and in-laws are elbow to elbow crowding the kitchen while Mom is stuck cooking a feast. Although Mom cooks an amazing turkey and ham her Mother-In-Law cannot hold back what seasonings to use, what temperature to cook the sweet potato casserole and she knows how Dad likes his stuffing. Back off woman! Dad has to listen to the same war stories every year from his Father-In-Law and of course with old age comes loss of memory so the story is slightly altered from the year before that. Other friends and family members show up that have stayed out of touch for selfish reasons but question, “Why haven’t you called, where have you been? You should come visit more?” Then fill the need to remind you of much busier they have been and forget that everyone has a life and well let’s be honest no one cares. Remember that uncle who played football throughout high school and college then drinks a little too much then gets emotional or the brother who has not held a consistent job and instead of asking how the kids have been asks for money? If anyone has not watched the National Lampoons Christmas Vacation then jump on that. Eddie, the cousin in the movie is this brother who also has the children no one wants in their home. They wreck your house, do not offer to help clean, drink all of Dad’s booze and usually bring a dog that pees all over that Persian rug Mom loves. Christmas morning is finally here and the children are waking Mom and Dad at the crack of dawn. Everyone is opening gifts that you spent that hard earned money on and Dad is ready to kick everyone out but who could blame him? By now, Mom is in the kitchen cooking breakfast and a fight breaks out with “if you do not care for my cooking then get out!” Mom has had enough and Grandma is announcing she never liked you for her son and finally leaves. This cycle usually repeats itself