What Makes a good Marriage? In today’s culture the meaning of marriage has changed dramatically. It was once considered the union of one man with one woman; however, it is now thought of as the union of two people no matter the sex of those individuals. Nonetheless, it does not matter who makes up the marriage, but the characteristics of the love the two people share. With any marriage, there comes good times and there are also times of sorrow. Many people would like to say that these individuals going through hard times are failing at their marriages. However, according to the Christian Broadcasting Network, in order for a marriage too “survive difficult times…it will take lots of work and commitment to staying in the marriage.” (“What”) …show more content…
For example, a wife should not be the only one making plans for a date night, every once in while the husband should make the arrangements. Couples wanting to make their marriage last should always strive to make their significant other happy. Sometimes, this will mean giving up his or her own happiness for the sake of his or her spouse. For instance, when one spouse decides to go on a diet and his or her partner also participates to be supportive. Many young adults would see this as a controlling or manipulative relationship but, it is not. Someone who can give up his or her happiness for the safe of someone else’s happiness has truly found out what it means to love someone. Although. if someone is not happy with the life they have built with his or her significant other, this might cause him or her to stray from his or her marriage. Therefore, each individual in a relationship should always try to make his or her partner happy, no matter the …show more content…
If couples want to survive the hardship they must first learn how to compromise with their partner. For example, if a husband and a wife are arguing over where they will send their child to school, and the husband will not choose another school but the one he wants, this could potentially end their marriage. However, they could solve their problems by simple choosing a mutual school, in other words they came to a compromise. Worthington along with other authors suggests that during an intense argument couples need to learn how to “communicate, negotiate, make decisions, and solve problems…” (Worthington et al.). Therefore, the distressed couple should use these tactics to choose the appropriate school. Due to the failure to compromise, and communicate there has been a dramatic increase in martial failure over the last century. Instead of working through the problems that arise in marriages, couples take the easy way out and choose to get a
Marriage is the legal or formally recognized union of a man and a woman, or two people or the same sex as partners in a relationship. Marriage rates in the United States have changed drastically since the last 90’s and early 2000 years (Cherlin 2004). Marital decline perspective and marital resilience perspective are the two primary perspectives and which we believe are the results from the decline. The marital decline perspective is the view that the American culture has become increasingly individualistic and preoccupied with personal happiness (Amato, 2004). The change in attitudes has changed the meaning of marriage as a whole, from a formal institution
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
The long-term success of marriage is measured by how effective and efficient individual couples exchange and express their feeling not only to address the problem that might arise but most important how they resolve it through
According to the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of married couples who stick it out through the hard times found that five years later, they had a better marriage than ever, that they are happier in their life than they have ever been, they feel better and they are grateful that they did not make a poor decision (www.nsfa.com exact reference needed). Despite this good news, couples are still divorcing and families are being torn apart.
Most studies in marital conflict pertain to three particular dimensions of communication. The first dimension is affect which refers to messages that express positive or negative feelings about another person, such as supportiveness, hostility, confirmation, coercion, sarcasm, or global positiveness or negativeness (e.g., Gottman, 1979 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). The second dimension to characterize conflict behaviors is whether they are constructive or destructive for the parties’ relationship. Research in the United States indicates that exiting from the relationship and neglecting the partner are destructive problem-solving responses and are more powerfully predictive of couple distress than giving voice to problems and being passive loyal (e.g., Rusbult, Johnson, & Morrow, 1986). The third dimension to characterize conflict management is engagement versus avoidance (e.g., Hocker and Wilmot, 1991 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). Engagement is reflected in direct, overt verbal confrontation of conflict issues, while conflict avoidance is reflected in withdrawal and aversion to dealing directly with conflict issues (Canary, Cupach, & Messman, 1995) and includes circumscribed, irrelevant, or ambiguous communication. Since the purpose of this study is to examine the effect of culture on marital conflict strategies and marital satisfaction, the discussion will be limited to the third dimension of marital conflict, engagement–avoidance, along with Rahim's styles of conflict.
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
Daw, Jennifer. “Saving Marriages: How to do it?” American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. 16 June 2005. 16 June 2005
While marriage is still quite alive, the rates are definitely declining. It is interesting to distinguish the qualities and characteristics of relationships between generations. At some point, marriage would succeed or fail depending on happiness and satisfaction of couples. Today, there is high expectation between couples. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different topics one of them being “ For better and for Worst”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks about a sociologist Jesse Bernard argument that every marriage consists of two other marriages, his and hers, and how marriages typically favors men rather than the women. He sates that that the stresses that are experienced in a marriage come from expectations between the husband and wife. Anther topic Arlene Skolnick talks about is “Marriage is Movie, Not a Snapshot”. For this topic Arlene Skolnick talks a little about Heroclitis the ancient Greek philosopher saying of how “you can never step into the same river twice, because it is always moving” and how this is smaller to a marriage. Arlene Skolnick talks about a few different studies that where done over a short period of time demonstrating that families, marriages, and people can change over
does without love imbibed in it. I agree with the view and definition of love and marriage in
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
The first step in the marriage process is to develop a solid foundation with the Creator. In order to have a health marriage with an imperfect human, we need to have a healthy relationship with the Lord Christ. In only God will any marriage in the world succeed? Marriage is a lot like a mirror. It gives back a reflection of our relationship with God. A successful and healthy marriage is the result of obeying to God and His Word, and not conforming to the world's view of marriage. Roberto Hernandez is his book One flesh states that “Until you find your first true love, your marriage will spin out of control, and that true love is God. His is a love that will never end. It is a true love, a love that was from the beginning of time.” (Hernandez, Roberto p. 16) When we seek the Lord will He give us wisdom to live a marriage as one. However when a spouse turn their back their spouse, they are turning their back on God, because He is the one who made marriage, not us. According to Hernandez, “Eve was God’s gift to Adam. He placed her hand in his, making the perfect match. Without God, husbands and wives are imperfect matches, but with God, the relationship is viewed as a gift from God Himself. We need to remember that and treat our marriages as such.” (Hernandez, Roberto p. 16)
Has the value of marriage become obsolete to the up and coming generations? With the decline in respect amongst individuals, increasing divorce rates, a decrease in moral values, infidelity rates, and lack of communication amid people, are we setting our future generations up for marital failure? The generations of today are being shown that marriage is something that they are expected to do rather than what they are meant to treasure. Marriage was once revered as a sacred union between two individuals in which they honored and cherished the vows in which they chose to recite to one another, values our current society may be lacking.
Many people main life dream is to marry the person they have fall in love with someday. However, most of the time, this dream can be shattered. When the expectations they have for the relationship are not met, the marriage starting to fail and the end result can be devastating. When two people make a commitment to live with each order happily ever after, the worst thing that can happen is to deal with divorce. Therefore, there could be numerous factors or causes contributing to the end of a matrimonial union between two persons, such as lack of communication, infidelity and financial issues.
Marriage is a complicated topic and even more complicated when it ends in divorce. When entering a sacred union, such as a marriage, the person is entering uncharted water that can end up in happiness or divorce. For females in the 1900s, it became more of a chore than happiness. From an early age, the female mind has been trained, by their parents and society, to automatically take the role of a mother and a wife. Many married women understood that by marrying a man, they would have to understand the need of their husband as well as being the proper wife. However, married female did not expect their husbands to go to war in 1914 through 1918 and possibly again in 1939 through 1945. Due to the wars, some females became a widow and some marriages
What is a family? A family is two or more people consider themselves to be blood related, or related by marriage, or adoption. Our families are who we love. We as families look different in so many ways. A family’s caregiving unit might have a couple, a mother, a father, and children. A family could also be a single parent and child, a group of siblings, a small or large group of friends. A family defines itself in many different ways. Families are the foundation of how our society and how it works. It is how we come into the world and nurtured and given the tools that we need to go out into our world. We are both capable and healthy or not our families influence our lives either in a good way or a bad way. While families