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Secure attachment and its effect on adult relationship
Essays on attachment styles
Essays on attachment styles
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Attachment is a physiological connection (emotional) that involves one enjoying care, comfort and pleasure of the other. This has a major impact in our romantic and relationship lives. There are three main attachment styles in which one can decide his/her type according to the description offered. They are secure attachment style, avoidant attachment style and ambivalent attachment style. Understanding our styles is very important as it helps us be aware of our strengths and vulnerabilities in relationships so as to find ways to make our relationships work (schultheiss, D. P, 1995). I believe to have the secure attachment type. Naturally I have experiences of long-term relationships build on trust and mutual understanding with my partner. Also, I have no problem sharing my inner feelings with people in my life and moreover, my self-esteem is high. Enjoying my intimate relationship and in case of problems in my life am able to comfortably seek social support. Another characteristic in my life that proves this is the fact that I am not …show more content…
Although attachment to our parents when we were young doesn’t necessarily define our ways of attachment as adults, my style was influenced primarily by my parents (Collins, N. L, 1998). According to attachment theory, sensitive and caring parents are key to development of a secure attachment with their children (Ainworth et al, 1967). My parents were responsive to my needs and helped me in having open interactions with other people. Openness and honesty were the main pillars of the relationship between my parents and me. I was able to maintain this style throughout my adolescence as I always tried to be a stronger and a better friend to my friends and also understand my partner in all ways possible. Any influence to change in my style was always unsuccessful as my parenting was strong and I personally believed in ensuring a healthy relationship in my
Europe, and of type C in Israel and Japan. One Japanese study also showed a complete absence of type A. If the Strange Situation is to be considered valid, infants who are classified as securely attached should be better adjusted both socially and emotionally in later life.
Attachment styles of Secure individuals are described as passionate and selfless. They have high levels of intimacy, passion and are very committed and able to be trusted. This reminds me of the perfect girlfriend. I don't see a lot of jealously and bizarre head games coming from a secure person. They are highly self confident and low on self consciousness with their partner. They tend not to fear being close to another person and yet are not likely to go out of their mind when things don't feel right. Avoidant people are known for their head games. They tend to be low in terms of intimacy, passion and commitment. This reminds me of a relationship my roomate has with his girlfriend.
The first topic that came up in the interview relates to idea of attachment theory. Attachment theory explains the human’s way of relating to a caregiver and receives an attachment figures relating to the parent, and children. In addition, the concept explains the confidence and ability for a child to free explore their environment with a place to seek support, protection, and comfort in times of distress (Levy, Ellison, Scott, and Bernecker, 2010, p. 193). Within attachment theory explains different types of attachment styles that children experience during early childhood. These attachment styles affect the relationships they continue to build in adulthood. The best attachment style happens when the parent is attuned to the child during his or her early childhood called secure attachment (Reyes, 2010, p. 174). In order for complete secure attachment, the child needs to feel safe, seen, and soothed. Any relationship that deviates from this model represents the anxious or insecure attachment. This means that parents or caregivers are inconsistently responsive to the children. Children who have these parents are usually confused and insecure. Some children experience a dismissive attachment where they
Toro focuses on the significance of the relationship between parent and child and how parent styles are important in the developments of future romantic relationships. The author emphasizes to the general audience the importance of understanding parent-child attachments and the influences it has on potential future relationships because it demonstrates how significant a parents role is in influencing the welfare in their children’s future relationships. Toro attempts to convince that by understanding the importance of parent-child attachments and its influences, the knowledge gained could be used to counseling settings. A study is performed to demonstrate there is a correlation between the two and the absence of attachment anxiety. Within this study, author assumes that there is a relationship between parenting styles and parent-child attachment, it was predicted that when a child is raised with a healthy parenting style and a secure parent-child attachment, attachment anxiety would be absent within a relationship. Evidence, when study performed, clearly supported that secure parenting styles and authoritative parenting styles did account for an absence of attachment anxiety within a relationship. However, study performed was limited in having a variety of culture; attachment varies in each culture and due to this, study may have a limiting result and may not apply to a general population.
Admittedly, many psychologists define attachment as an enduring, affectionate bond that one person forms between himself and another person throughout life. Mary Ainsworth provided the most famous research: strange situation, offering explanations of individual differences in attachment. However, in this Adult Attachment Style questionnaire that I took, I found many factors relevant to attachment as defined in the textbook. For example, in the textbook, it defines attachment based on Ainsworth research, the strange situation by observing attachment forms between mother and infants. They are described in four attachment styles: securely attached, insecure avoidant, insecure resistant, and insecure disorganized.
In his original thesis, Bowlby (1969) never formalized an extension of his theory of attachment beyond childhood, but he clearly implied an extension should be sought. Perhaps his clearest statements regarding this extension involved his suggestions that people change to whom they are primarily attached as they age. He argued that in adolescents it was likely that peers played an increasingly important role in their attachment lives, and in adulthood, people would become primarily attached to a spouse or mate. Only in the last thirty years have scholars made a serious attempt to extend the ideas in attachment theory to adult relationships. One influential attempt came from Hazan and Shaver’s (1987) assertion that the attachment system is at least partially responsible for the adult romantic bond. Indeed multiple parallels have been drawn between the behavior in infant-caregiver interactions and adult romantic partner interactions. Zeifman and Hazan (1997) offer a fairly extensive account of the commonalities in adult romantic and infant-caregiver attachment. They note that cer...
Acknowledging, the importance of attachment has been in helpful development of couples therapy, in particular to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), “where it helps explain how even healthy adults need to depend on each other,” (Nichols, 2013, p. 62). EFT is an empirically validated experiential therapy model that works with emotion to create change. EFT therapists use “attachment theory to deconstruct the familiar dynamic in which one partner criticizes and complains while the other gets defensive and withdraws,” (Nichols, 2013, p.63). Research has demonstrated the importance of attachment in individuals. It is not solely a childhood trait attachment is a trait that individuals carry for the rest of their lives. Nonetheless, it is important to work on the attachments with families and couples in order to alleviate some of the negative interactions that arise from feeling a fear of losing the attachment with
While people contain different attachment styles, their practice of either negative or positive maintenance behaviors originate from. However, depending on the utilization of these behaviors can determine the satisfaction within the romantic relationship. As the study demonstrates, the more negative maintenance behaviors are practiced the more likely dissatisfaction is to occur in the relationship. These behaviors though depend heavily, though, on the perception an individual has of themselves, but also others. Simply, when positive outlooks of the self as well as other is a practiced mindset, then the more comfortable an individual will be performing positive social skills in maintaining relationships. Thus, making a connection between attachment style and relational maintenance behaviors. As Bolkan and Goodboy, state attachment is a vital framework for conceptualizing how romantic partners maintain their relationships (329). It was found from the results of this study, individuals with a secure attachment style are less likely to practice negative maintenance behaviors. Conversely, dismissive and fearful-avoidant individuals display more negative maintenance behaviors through the representation of jealousy, avoidance, infidelity and not allowing control of the partner in the relationship. However, these results
The first stage of the cycle is the man experiences rejection by his current partner. The past experience of rejection by the man's previous attachment relationships will be able to detonate by contact with his current partner's behaviour of rejection. Brown et al. (2010) pointed out that previous experiences of rejection weaken a man's ability to cope with present rejection. Such experiences include excessive rejection, punishment, neglect and abandonment. According to Bowlby's attachment research (as cited in Bretherton, 1992, p. 769), repeated threats of rejection may lead to excessive separation anxiety. Thus, an anxiously attached man tends to be the one being rejected or abandoned several times by parents or previous partner in his past life experience. Substantial research has been carried out which indicated a link between attachment style and man's abusive behaviour (Brown et al., 2010). Other than that, a man received excessive punishment during their childhood is more likely a troublesome individual (Fergusson & Lynskey, 1997). Therefore, when a m...
Attachment is described as the close emotional bond between two people and Attachment Theory (AT) generally concentrates on the early bonds in a person’s development as well as the effects that these bonds have on later socio-emotional development. While emphasis on attachment as an antecedent for future behavior and personality has decreased somewhat in recent years, it is interesting to note that the DSM IV-TR includes a “reactive attachment disorder” which it states is caused when extreme circumstances prevent proper attachment development.
This really hit home for me. I put way too much of myself into all of my relationships, and when they dissolve, I lose my identity completely. I think I have improved tremendously since high school, but I still need to be careful with myself. This showed me exactly what not to do; which is unfortunately exactly what I’ve been doing. My anxious attachment affects everything I do and all the relationships I have. Based on my findings, most everyone with anxious attachments feels the same way.
Psychologist, Mary Ainsworth expanded upon Bowlby's original work. She conducted a study labelled the ‘Strange Situation’. In the study, based upon the children’s reactions, Ainsworth described three major styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment, and avoidant-insecure attachment. Work by Stroufe and Waters in 1977, further supported Ainsworth's attachment styles and have indicated that attachment styles also have an impact on behaviours later in life (Birns, 1999, p. 13). Researchers have found strengths in attachment patterns established early in life can lead to a number of outcomes. For example, children who are securely attached as infants tend to develop stronger self-esteem and better self-reliance as they grow older. These children also tend to be more independent, perform better in school, have successful social relationships, and experience less depression and anxiety (Birns, 1999, p. 13).
The attachment style questionnaire is a series of questions to decide your attachment in your relationships.
Following the above line of research, Mikulincer and Florian (2000) demonstrated that attachment style influences the way people react to death reminders. For instance, secure persons reacted to mortality salience with a higher desire for intimacy in romantic relationships, while individuals who scored high on the anxiety or avoidance component reacted with harsher punishment for social transgressors. These findings imply that secure persons react to death reminders by relying on their attachment relationships. In contrast, persons scoring high on either avoidance or anxiety dimension tend to rely on other defense mechanisms.
that person’s sense of trust and level of intimacy, and collected from self-report data. Self disclosure is reflected in actual behavior and can be measured through observation of a person’s situations such as the initial stage of a group. Attachment research has shown that secure attachment contributes to subjective well-being, high self-esteem, high self-efficacy, self-control, and well-adjusted interpersonal behavior. Insecure attachment seems to be organized around two basic dimensions: avoidance and anxiety-ambivalence. Avoidant adults tend to be uncomfortable about and have difficulties being close to and trusting others; anxious-ambivalent adults want closeness to others, worry that others do not love or want to be with them, and sometimes scare others away with their intense need for closeness.