Assertiveness Essay

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In chapter nine of Messages, assertiveness training is presented as a way “to express your feelings, thoughts, and wishes, and to stand up for your legitimate rights without violating the rights of others.” (McKay, Davis, Fanning, 2009, p. 125) According to McKay, Davis, and Fanning (2009), “assertiveness is a social behavior that can be learned” (p.125) Assertiveness that is presented in a way that is used to express ‘your’ feelings and not necessarily to interpret someone else’s connects directly with the single contingency method. As assumptions number four of the skills and tools model of communication states that communication skills are trainable like motor skills, assertiveness skills such as passiveness, aggressiveness, and assertiveness are presented in a way that may be taught to use in appropriate situations to depict your feelings and your wishes. The book differentiates between a skill that is similar to a personality trait, and assertiveness that can be acquired, which contradicts assumption number four because it suggests that learning to communicate is similar to learning jumping jacks. It also specifies that assertiveness is used to initiate your own message instead of another’s reaction. …show more content…

For example, “you don’t directly express your feelings, thoughts, and wishes” but you “do more than your share of listening.” (McKay, Davis, Fanning, 2009, 128) This explains that to be a passive communicator means to possess a particular set of skills that have the ability to be learned and trained like any other skill. Granite, skills such as passivity may be more appropriate in some situations than in others, but they do have the ability to be learned and used which the skills and tools assumption number four

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