TIP 74
Listen More, Speak Less
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
~Author Unknown
There 's an old Arabic proverb that says, "The smarter you get, the less you speak." Proverbs 29:11 says, "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Proverbs 17:28 says, "Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."
Have you ever been in a group of people and there 's that one person who just won 't shut up? You know the one I 'm talking about. He 's got an opinion about everything, and waxes eloquent about every topic under the sun. Doesn 't that drive you crazy?
Oh, you can 't think of anyone like that when you hang out with your friends? Hmmm…then maybe you 're "that person.”
Listen, there 's nothing wrong with being a gregarious person, nor is it bad to be chatty and conversational. Trust me, introverts like me rely on you to fill the awkward silences of life.
But are you absolutely sure you 're listening when people speak to you? If you find yourself dominating conversations, almost as if you 're holding court like a celebrity, maybe it 's time to think about walking back your output and concentrating more on the input.
Become an Active Listener
The next time you 're in a conversation or hanging out in a group, challenge yourself by asking, "Can I recall the last thing each person around me said?" I 'm not expecting you to know it verbatim, nor am I asking you to remember what the introvert of the group said ten minutes ago. Just make sure you 're keyed in and focusing enough on the people around you that you 're actively aware of their contributions to the conversation.
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...ife with whom you need to have a hard conversation? Perhaps you need to confront someone about a thorny issue, stage and intervention, or possibly even apologize for wronging them in the past. Take a page from my pastor for what he does when he finds himself needing to deal with hard situations and have tough conversations—he invites them over for tea (or coffee). We’re not talking about simply asking someone to meet you at a cafe or restaurant somewhere, but rather inviting them over to either the office or home and preparing tea or coffee as well as a light snack like coffee cake, chocolate, or whatever the other person likes. When you’ve taken the time to prepare food for the other person, it defuses much of the tension inherent in the moment. Serving the other person sets you up to be empathethic and gracious, while being served makes them feel welcomed in return.
his own voice leads to his constant babbling. Scholars have been analyzing the character of
Silence is one of his traits. He is very quiet and does not speak his mind. It seems that he remains
him. People like this tend to get annoying to others around them. They are very
“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”
When a Quiet Person speaks, it’s usually a great comment or opinion. Bill Gates was shy in the campuses, some of our government officials were quiet too. But they are really powerful. People always assume that the quiet ones are up to no good, but they may not
It is actually the worst side of me that I need to change for good. To be such a passive or introvert person but indeed you are actually a very talkative person is really ashamed. It feels like somehow I am being another character side of me that I don’t even like it. However, in a good perspective way to look at my poor communication skills, I get to learn how to gain my self-confidence privately or most probably in public and to avoid misunderstanding situation as well. There were saying that we need to take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people (Rohn, 2009) and this beautiful words really motivated and inspired me to improve my communication skills. Furthermore, friends and family also helped to build the courage in and out with positive vibes that they have poured
Nonverbal Consideration: Eye contact, hands gestures, and avoid swaying my body around. This will draw more attention to me, and people will hopefully pay more attention to what I have to say
However, I am not the only person experiencing this problem since several of my friends have confessed to experience similar instances. Although I might appear to be attentive and listening to someone, the reality is that I have actually stopped listening and my mind is focusing on the present thoughts in my head. This mostly occurs when another person utters words that my mind chooses not to examine, study, or dissect. I continue maintaining eye contact thus making another person to think that I am still keenly
I have a great comfort in engaging others and find it easy to communicate with people. When in a group or engaging with someone one-on-one, I do not find it uncomfortable to engage in a conversation or start one. The strengths I possess in my engagement skills are that I am an extrovert, compassionate, and communicate effectively. However, I do need to work on not always starting a conversation and allowing others to talk first. I also need to improve on my listening skills instead of always feeling that I need to make a contribution to the conversation. Even though I am able to communicate effectively, I sometimes need to remember that others deserve a chance to start an
I started to be more outgoing by changing my verbal and nonverbal communication methods. I looked more people in the eyes and for longer times, that I did before, and I also talked a lot more than I used to. I made myself come out of my shyness to be a very outgoing person who can talk to anyone, and I do talk to anyone and everyone. For example, I have been told by people that I can talk to anyone and everyone. I made myself like that, and it’s a big part of my personality. I also knew that outgoing people go places in life, and I made myself into someone who takes chances and speaks up when something is offered. Falconer explains it perfectly, “If you don’t become outgoing you will miss a huge chunk of the best parts of your life. Social unease and shyness can be crippling character traits. So not only will you miss out on good times but you will miss out on a lot of good opportunities.” (para. 4). If I was the old shy me, then I wouldn’t have all the opportunities that I would have had today. I love talking to people now. It’s probably one of the best things about me, because I can start a conversation with just about everyone, and make sure that I look into their eyes. It makes it seem that I am very interested in what they are saying, and most of the time I am interested in what they are saying. I used to be the kind of person who wouldn’t want to be seen in a big crowd, but now I want to be noticed. I realized that I’d rather be heard,
I believe that my behavior varies based upon the situation I am placed into. If I am without familiar people in an unfamiliar location or situation where I am forced to speak to others, I will become increasingly nervous or anxious. Therefore, before properly becoming friends with me others may view me as simply quiet or rude because of my lack of words in certain situations. However, when people are genuinely kind and make me feel comfortable around them I tend to somewhat open up. Excluding my introversion in instances where I do not know anyone, I can surprisingly be relaxed and outgoing. When I’m participating in group activates with my friends we all instantly forget I’m even referred to as “the shy one” of the
But a lot of us have trouble being in public and making new friends. This doesn’t mean you have a bad personality or quality, you just must find the good qualities. Many of us are so shy and don't really want to get socially involved into anything. Some of us can feel awkward around people we've never met(strangers), not sure of what to say or mention, or maybe worried about what others think of us. This can be the reason some of us try to avoid any social situations, make ourselves to stay away from others, and become greatly isolated and lonely. But being shy and alone is not always a bad thing. There are many benefits to being reserved and quiet.
To be effective listeners, the listening process should be incorporated into our lives. We should be attentive to what people say, clarify what the speaker is trying to come across, and respond in a way the speaker can understand what we are saying. I think I was aware that I needed some improvement in certain areas of this process but I feel as everything is slowly changing. In the future, I’m going try not to interrupt people, get distracted, tune out, and try to get a bigger picture of what the person is telling me. If good listening habits are applied in our day-to-day life, we can easily communicate with anyone and everyone.
“DA-DA!” Who would have known that a simple word like that could be so powerful and strong enough to make a grown man like myself cry. In every job setting, a great way to represent ourselves is through communication. Communication is stemmed from the act of speech, in which plays a huge role, not only at a workplace but in reality as well. Speech is simply a higher form of communication between two or more people. Great speech practices may enhance a person’s opportunity of moving up within the company he or she works for, as well as venturing off to higher positions in a professional field. Having the ability to speak well is closely related to the ability to listen well. Speaking well in a professional setting can cause one to stand out over others more and help interpret a great first impression of who that person is.
The first concept I used was responsive listening, responsive listening is giving your complete undivided attention, while letting the other person get a chance to speak freely and openly, while the person listening provides only small interjections and nonverbal listening cues while sometimes paraphrasing to show that you have fully been aware. I choose this concept because I felt like sometimes I dominate the conversation with my brother and I decided to just give him complete undivided attention and a chance to talk. I was picking up my brother from school, and from the start he seemed to be...