Effects from the Past Every person that lives to be an adult comes to a point in their lives where they have to decide their own values. Many things are taken into consideration when making these choices. One’s family principles must be analyzed to determine if they should be continued, and past experiences also have a sizable effect. Despite the recent toleration movement, the values one chooses will be judged harshly sometimes (Allison, 590). Alison Bechdel, her father, and Dorothy Allison all had some difficulties in their lives and in deciding their standards, but they came out strong and determined in the end (Bechdel, 253+). Bechdel’s father was deemed as odd by many onlookers. His hobby of restoring old and damaged items was strange …show more content…
Bechdel’s father was perverted, and her family felt the effects of his habits (567-574). Allison’s mother was only fifteen years old when she gave birth to her daughter. Dorothy’s step-father was abusive and affected her life very much (588). These are things that change a person whether or not they choose to acknowledge that fact. Abuse causes lifelong emotional and cognitive changes in children. Allison’s mistreatment as a child may be part of why she’s so conscious of what others think of her (Goldman). Close father-daughter relationships more likely lead to intimate and fulfilling relationships with other men. Allison did not have a good connection with her father or step-father, and she does not have comfortable and satisfying relationships with other men either (Nielsen). Allison’s difficulties connecting in society and emotionally with people may also be connected with being born to an unmarried mother (“Births to Unmarried …show more content…
My grandpa left the Church when I was eight-years-old. Church is central to most of my extended family, and his leaving really ruined our relationship. He then divorced my grandma several years ago and further separated us. I barely ever see him now, and it’s awkward when I do. He is dating and living with another woman, and it seems like he’s replacing all of the people he lost. Thinking about him always makes me sad now, and I miss being able to do things with him. We used to spend lots of time together when I was younger, but now those memories are fading and I am unable to fill their gaps with new memories. His actions have taken away the close bond we had as grandfather and granddaughter. With the passage of time, I have gotten used to him not being in my life as much as he should, but I still cannot get over all that he’s done to my family. He seems to be the root of all my emotional struggles, and I easily blame things on him. In spite of that, I can see how I have been changed for the better. Knowing how his actions have made me feel, I have vowed to never do what he has done to me. I know how unwanted he makes me feel sometimes, and I never want to make others feel that way. It is a horrible feeling, and I’d hate to be the cause of it. He has also taught me about the importance of choosing a spouse who I am compatible with and can communicate well with. I am more cautious in my relationships
The chapter “A Fathers Influence” is constructed with several techniques including selection of detail, choice of language, characterization, structure and writers point of view to reveal Blackburn’s values of social acceptance, parenting, family love, and a father’s influence. Consequently revealing her attitude that a child’s upbringing and there parents influence alter the characterization of a child significantly.
Values are one of the most important traits handed down from parent to child. Parents often pass lessons on regardless of whether they intend to do so, subconsciously acting as the conductor of a current that flows through their children and into generations beyond. This is the case with Ruth, James McBride’s mother and the subject of his memoir The Color of Water: Despite her disgust with Tateh’s treatment of his children, Ruth carries his values into parenthood, whether or not she aims to do so.
Bechdel decides to live her reality and be her true self. After she reveals this information to her parents, her mother reveals the truth about her father. Bechdel’s father had affairs with many other men throughout his lifetime. Bechdel is shocked and does not understand how her father was able to do that for so long. When Bechdel realizes this, she instantly feels as if now she may be able to connect with her father. Her father was living behind the appearance of the perfect husband and man to hide his actual sexuality of being gay. She feels as if they can connect through their changing sexuality, even though she has decided to come out while her father has
From a very young age, Bone was sexually abused by her step-father, Glen Waddell. Like Bone, Dorothy Allison also suffered abuse from her step-father, starting at the young age of five years-old. During the time of the novel, and until recent years, it was unthinkable to speak of any sort of abuse outside the household. Throughout history, children have been victims of abuse by their parents or other adults, and fo...
In her novel, Bechdel’s complex sexual self-development is a powerful struggle for her to figure out and acknowledge her sexual orientation. One can simply observe the pain and struggle Bechdel encountered in his process of self-development especially in one of her monologues when she discusses the impact of finding out about her father’s homosexual ways in his past. She states, “Only four months earlier (to her fathers suicide), I had made an announcement to my parents, ‘I am a lesbian’ but it was a hypothesis so thorough and convincing that I saw no reason not to share it immediately… My homosexuality remained at that point purely theoretical, untested hypothesis” (Bechdel 58). After receiving the news that her father was...
When you think about family, what is the first thing that comes to mind? If you only thought about your parents or close relatives, then you may have been caught in an “individual vs. family” paradox. Nearly every culture considers family important, but “many Americans have never even met all of their cousins” (Holmes & Holmes, 2002, p. 19). We say we are family oriented, but not caring to meet all of our extended family seems to contradict that. Individual freedoms, accomplishments, and goals are all American ideals that push the idea of individualism.
Firstly, one’s identity is largely influenced by the dynamics of one’s relationship with their father throughout their childhood. These dynamics are often established through the various experiences that one shares with a father while growing up. In The Glass Castle and The Kite Runner, Jeannette and Amir have very different relationships with their fathers as children. However the experiences they share with these men undou...
Sandy Wilson, the author of Daddy’s Apprentice: incest, corruption, and betrayal: a survivor’s story, was the victim of not only sexual abuse but physical and emotional abuse as well, in addition to being a product of incest. Sandy Wilson’s story began when she was about six years old when her birth father returns home from incarceration, and spans into her late teens. Her father returning home from prison was her first time meeting him, as she was wondered what he looked like after hearing that he would be released (Wilson, 2000, p. 8). Not only was her relationship with her father non-existent, her relationship with her birth mother was as well since she was for most of her young life, cared for by her grandmother and grandfather. When she was told that her birth mother coming to visit she says, “…I wish my mother wouldn’t visit. I never know what to call her so I don’t all her anything. Not her name, Kristen. Not mother. Not anything (Wilson, 2000, p. 4).” This quote essentially demonstrated the relationship between Sandy and her mother as one that is nonexistent even though Sandy recognizes Kristen as her birth mother.
It’s not easy to build an ideal family. In the article “The American Family” by Stephanie Coontz, she argued that during this century families succeed more when they discuss problems openly, and when social institutions are flexible in meeting families’ needs. When women have more choices to make their own decisions. She also argued that to have an ideal family women can expect a lot from men especially when it comes to his involvement in the house. Raymond Carver, the author of “Where He Was: Memories of My Father”, argued how his upbringing and lack of social institutions prevented him from building an ideal family. He showed the readers that his mother hide all the problems instead of solving them. She also didn’t have any choice but to stay with his drunk father, who was barely involved in the house. Carvers’ memoir is relevant to Coontz argument about what is needed to have an ideal family.
In Alison Bechdel’s graphic novel entitled Fun Home, the author expresses her life in a comical manner where she explains the relationship between her and her family, pointedly her father who acts as a father figure to the family as she undergoes her exhaustive search for sexuality. Furthermore, the story describes the relationship between a daughter and a father with inversed gender roles as sexuality is questioned. Throughout the novel, the author suggests that one’s identity is impacted by their environment because one’s true self is created through the ability of a person to distinguish reality from fictional despotism.
It is an undenialble biological fact of life that to exist one must have a biological mother and a biological father, however after the point of conception nothing is certain about how that child will be raised. Some children are raised by foster parents – people who have absolutely no biological relationship to the child – some children have two mothers, some have two fathers… Frequently children are raised in some combination of stepparents, half-sisters, cousins, grandmothers, and whatever other family members are available to rear the child. It is long past the time where a mother and a father would raise a child except for the rare exception. This untraditional makeup of families has a great impact on the child’s successes and failures, as do traditional families which may be traditional in makeup but deal with several confounding factors from differing communication styles to poverty, to more severe abuse and neglect. Oftentimes there is an almost direct connection to an intact family versus a broken family and the type of juvenile delinquency that the children raised in these environments perpetrate. Recognizing the common patterns of family dynamics which
“My parents’ morals were deeply rooted in religious conviction but tempered by tolerance—the essence of which is respect for other people’s views.”
Society has changed a lot in the last couple of decades, though, at the time set in the play Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, the stereotype was very much alive. Even today echoes of this archaic family model still exist. Being normal, and adapting to society, can often lead a person to feel a sense of belonging in the short term. However, the penalty for conforming is that the individual can be lost. Giving up your personal goals, in the pursuit of those passed down from your family can lead to a lifetime of regrets. Basing decisions on societal norms can also have devastating consequences, leading the individual to become lost in a mundane life that is not of their choosing. Martha and George created a fictional son for their private needs to take away from the failure they felt as married individuals by not being able to conceive a child. Nick and Honey started their marriage to fill their roles as future parents in the expected family dynamic. Confronting each couple is a personal failure resulting in an unrealized future. Neither couple has a desire to admit their shortcomings for fear of judgment from the other couple. The play, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? displays how the desire to be normal and successful, in the eyes of our peers, impacts our life
Understanding who we are as individuals can be a struggle for people throughout life. It can be difficult to comprehend who we are and why we exist. There are daily outside influences that help create who we are and what our values are. Values play a significant role in our lives. They shape the choices we make and reveal a big part of our identity to the world. Some values may be more important than others, but they still manage to influence our lives in one way or another, whether we know it or not. Values can range from a tangible item to an idea that has influenced us to stand by and remember those values. The values we hold with the highest importance act as a guide and help us prioritize our purpose and goals in our daily life. My family has taught me a list of values and traits that have helped me become a well-rounded individual. I value my family more than anything because most of my core inner values have started from their teachings at one point or another. My top values that I have developed from my family are dedication, honesty, and wisdom. I will discuss who I am in terms of the important values that shape my personal belief system and decision making framework that, in essence, describes the direction of my life.
My values were all influenced by my parents. The only one that I had to