Conflicts which lead to unresolved issues can influence the quality of the marriage. Although several research was made on marital relationships, the factors which influence the arising of continuous conflicts are still not clear. Unresolved issues are problems which are continuously brought up in a marriage. However, marital conflicts are not the only source of unresolved issues in a relationship. Unresolved conflicts within the marriage can affect the longevity and quality of the marriage, but personal background and individual trauma contribute to marital problems more often than conflicts within the marriage. In fact, marital conflicts are usually started because of personal unresolved issues. If a person develops a behavioral property because of environmental factors prior to a marriage, or even during marriage, that one person can endanger the marital satisfaction and longevity. A study by Carnstensen, Gottman, and Levenson (1995) aimed to explore emotional behaviors in long-term marriages. They have come to the conclusion that older people often show more affection in their relationship while younger or middle age marriages. Although older couples have had their conflicts before, affection and love proved to be the most dominant emotions. However, unhappy marriages exist in all age categories. This research suggests that optimizing positive emotional experiences and minimizing negative experiences is the only way of achieving a happy marriage. Furthermore, it suggests that some couples have learned to remain neutral during discussions and disagreements, so they do not aim to change the other's opinions and beliefs. This behavior prevents escalations of deeper emotional problems which would eventually endanger the marital ... ... middle of paper ... ...ral factors which influence the quality of marital relationships, but most of the focus should be on individual issues. A marital relationship requires a harmonious coexistence, and it requires effort from both sides to maintain it. If one person has behavioral issues, it will not be possible to establish a functional relationship with that person. If both sides in a marriage have behavioral issues, one side will start an argument and the other side will follow. This will escalate the negative emotions and leave a long-lasting trace on marital satisfaction. Unresolved issues themselves have no influence in determining the marital quality, but as long as people are willing to support their negative emotions and deny their partners affection and respect, marital conflicts can turn into continuous process and degrade marital satisfaction for an extended period of time.
Conflicts within relationships are inevitable and some conflict can help strengthen a relationship; however, in marriages and families, many people fail to work through their conflict, which results in unhealthy patterns of behavior. Over time, if left unresolved, these patterns of behavior can lead to a breaking of the relationship. Furthermore, most people do not set out seeking conflict within relationships, but rather they lack the emotional maturity to move through conflict. In fact, it is not the differences between the two parties that create the conflict, but rather the emotional reaction to their differences. Therefore, an intervention is required to begin the healing process of working through conflict. Often a pastor or counselor
Marital drift can occur in any marriage relationship, regardless of culture, status, religious beliefs and practices, or lifestyle. Various factors can contribute to marital drift. Individuals and couples face many demands upon their time, energy, and attention. In their research, King and DeLongis (2014) report that the marriage relationship involves a variety complex interactions, all of which are influenced by a variety of stress and coping processes. These interactions (or lack thereof), constraints, and stressors can cause a drift to occur, separating the couple from each other emotionally, sexually, and physically. If not tended to, a marital drift can ultimately end in divorce.
There is no doubt that conflict occurs in every human institution including professional, unions, and educational and vocational environment. However effective exchange ideas through communication can greatly minimize the effects of marital conflict. Studies have suggested that couples remain married if they successfully manage their interpersonal communication on the basis of accommodating individual differences, problem resolving skills, forgiveness, collective decision making, empathy and above all positive conflict management.
Most studies in marital conflict pertain to three particular dimensions of communication. The first dimension is affect which refers to messages that express positive or negative feelings about another person, such as supportiveness, hostility, confirmation, coercion, sarcasm, or global positiveness or negativeness (e.g., Gottman, 1979 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). The second dimension to characterize conflict behaviors is whether they are constructive or destructive for the parties’ relationship. Research in the United States indicates that exiting from the relationship and neglecting the partner are destructive problem-solving responses and are more powerfully predictive of couple distress than giving voice to problems and being passive loyal (e.g., Rusbult, Johnson, & Morrow, 1986). The third dimension to characterize conflict management is engagement versus avoidance (e.g., Hocker and Wilmot, 1991 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). Engagement is reflected in direct, overt verbal confrontation of conflict issues, while conflict avoidance is reflected in withdrawal and aversion to dealing directly with conflict issues (Canary, Cupach, & Messman, 1995) and includes circumscribed, irrelevant, or ambiguous communication. Since the purpose of this study is to examine the effect of culture on marital conflict strategies and marital satisfaction, the discussion will be limited to the third dimension of marital conflict, engagement–avoidance, along with Rahim's styles of conflict.
Amato, P. R., & Sobolewski, J. M. (2001). The effects of divorce and marital discord on adult
According to recent statistics, there are more divorces now than ever before. At the rate things are going, the divorce rate may soon surpass the marriage rate. There are many reasons for such a high divorce rate, but one of the main ones is that people do not realize what they are getting themselves into when they marry. Couples do not realize that marriage is a job that must be worked at continuously in order for it to go well. Because many couples marry for the wrong reasons, a breakdown in communication results, which leads to a couple's growing apart. This process, all too often, ends in divorce.
No one expects to divorce when they get married but nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Divorce can be costly, with court fees and attorneys. Dr. Doherty, noted marriage scholar and therapist has determined a list of risk factors that are attributed to marital problems and divorce. The first three: Young age, less education and less income are coincidently other topics brushed upon in this paper. Impulsive decisions made by younger people to marry leads to children which leads to financial instability. Once a couple has children, they are unlikely to further their education because of lack of time. Divorce also has a negative effect on
Marriage is a very joyful event in a person’s life. However, unless much can be done in order to redefine the status of what marriage is all about, divorce and other marital problems will continue to arise tremendously. Divorce is tumultuous event in a married couple’s life. It does not only affect the financial status of the household, but rather it also affects the people that comprises the family especially the children. Families are experiencing many problems today, but the role of divorce in this picture has been frequently overlooked because its destructive effects have been subtle, yet insidious. When the divorce rate increased in the 1960s, few would have predicted its dire consequences three decades later. Yet divorce has changed both the structure and the impact of the family. Intimacy, time, effort trust and love is the key to have a peaceful and healthy relationship. Marriage for life is God's ideal, but divorce is a reality in our society.
In today’s society, infidelity is one of the leading causes of marital disruption and divorce. In accordance with societal norms many myths have been associated with infidelity. The following myths and their effects on marriage will be discussed: Everyone has affairs, the affair is the direct result of the faithful mate and, the marriage must end in divorce. In examining the various myths, this paper will challenge the greater issue, can marriage survive infidelity?
However; if marriage wants to be happy, each of them need to give their best to have a good relationship, they also have to respect each other, have patience and always talk about their problems or dreams. As a matter of the fact that romantic love is essential and that exists, some marriages have been together for more than fifty years; their secrets are not expensive, or impossible ones, in fact, they are as familiar and accessible as patience, love, and respect. Today's couples should value the essence of marriage and should put on a scale what is most important and give their beloved the value they deserve. It is essential to learn to love as couples did before
Cause and Effect Essay – The Causes of Divorce. From the past to present, people all over the world have determined to live together, which is called “get married” in another word, so that they depend on each other for living. Nevertheless, some couples are unable to maintain their relationship; therefore they choose divorce, which is one of the solutions to cope with problems between husband and wife. Furthermore, most people think carefully before they get married.
Many people main life dream is to marry the person they have fall in love with someday. However, most of the time, this dream can be shattered. When the expectations they have for the relationship are not met, the marriage starting to fail and the end result can be devastating. When two people make a commitment to live with each order happily ever after, the worst thing that can happen is to deal with divorce. Therefore, there could be numerous factors or causes contributing to the end of a matrimonial union between two persons, such as lack of communication, infidelity and financial issues.
Since the creation of mankind, humans all over the world have fallen in love and believe that they have found “the one.” People get married and realize that it is not always “happily ever after.” A large percentage of couples are unable to maintain their relationship, because of this, they choose divorce. Many spouses, believe that this is the best solution to deal with problems between each other. However, many people think carefully before getting entangled into marriage. Nevertheless, divorce rates still continue to increase to this very day. It certainly looks as if divorces occur more now than they did 20 years ago. There are three causes of divorce: changing of a woman’s household status, financial situations, and lack of communication.
So it seems that it is not simply being married that offers benefits and marital stability, but it is what people do in marriage that offers benefits and maintains the marriage (actively doing behaviors to maintain the marriage–being committed beyond being satisfied). Marital satisfaction being a catalyst for marital stability is beneficial to the extent that marital satisfaction does not decline, but this is problematic considering marital satisfaction is inconsistent throughout marriage. It is vital then to examine commitment and marriage, as commitment seems to be a more reliable factor that buffers against divorce and supports marital stability according to the literature.
When there is a lack of communication, relationships seem to fall apart. So for that matter, two people who were suppose to be partner, eventually end up going to court for to get legally separated. After all, when there is little to no communication or any other type of emotional connection, divorce seems to be the only way to resolve the problem. “Many couples marry because they share similar beliefs, but as time changes so do people.” (Odinity.com). Another problem that led to lack of communication is that everyone is so busy working; they don’t feel they need to talk to their husband or wife. Some couples are often quiet even when they have problems with each other, but decided to not deal with it instead. As a consequence, little problems will begin to expand to become bigger problems, resulting in divorce. This does not happen in a happy marriage because the partners in a healthy relationship seem to have a more open way of talking with each other. They discuss everything to be sure that they are on the same page, so to speak. Divorce is commonly done because of this lack of being able to talk openly to each other, and express their feelings and emotions. Nevertheless, this is not the main problem as to why people are getting divorce. As the economy grows, so does the human’s intellectual. Couple therapy is a very popular solution to most marriages problem nowadays. If people feel like their marriage is at risk, many chooses the option of going to couple therapy. It not only is effective, many stated that it is satisfying. “Over 98 percent of those surveyed reported that they received good or excellent couples therapy, and over 97 percent of those surveyed said they got the help they needed.”