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Parental abuse effects on children
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Parental abuse effects on children
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Have you ever witnessed you parents fighting? Even to the point of separation? If so, maybe it has possibly affected you, or it is effecting you right now.
“Children are affected by marital conflict through both direct and indirect pathways. In terms of children’s psychological functioning, exposure to repeated instances of destructive marital conflict has been linked with internalizing problems such as depression and low self-esteem, externalizing problems such as delinquency and aggression, and declines in academic performance, social and interpersonal adjustment, and general mental health” (Faircloth 2).
I remember that it hurt. It hurt so much that I didn’t even realize it till it started taking over my life. At the age of 13, I started to witness my parents argue everyday. I was going through some changes in my life that every teenager goes through, I was growing up. I started to analyze the world around me in a different way. I was taking in information and experiences that would shape me into the person that I am today. For so many years I ignored what was going on at home. I didn’t realize the constant conflict was damaging me. My mom knew that he was being unfaithful. I chose to ignore the situations at home and just focus on school. A couple of years passed and suddenly my dad was gone. He explained nothing to no one and all he did was deny everything. The man everyone respected was unfaithful. I never cried, I never argued that they should be together. Little did I know; I was fooling myself. My experience with my parents separating and seeing how it affected my family changed me. I was secretly miserable. I completely gave up on myself for two whole years. I stopped trying in School and I stopped attending school. ...
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...ance of it affecting the children. Second, couples therapy is also an option that many couples don’t look into but should. Third, Socializing with other couples can is extremely helpful. To sum up, all these solutions can all lead to positive results.
Can you forgive? Carrying a grudge for a long time makes life more difficult. We all know how that feels, so we just need acceptance. Accept some of the effects. In my case, I accepted the fact that that my father had started a new life with a wife and kids. I also accepted that he hurt my mother and that he hurt us too. Forgiveness and acceptance allows us to move on. Moving on will help us live healthier lives. On the other hand, sometimes divorce is the better option. You can cause more harm than good if you stay together because being with a person you don not want to be with anymore just creates more problems.
Thornton A. 1991. Influence of the marital history of parents on the marital and cohabitation experiences of children. Am. J. Sociol. 96:868 94
A significant portion of children in the United States are impacted by divorce. Empirical investigations verify that children of divorce are at a heightened risk for the development of psychological, social, behavioral and academic issues (Amato, 2000; Amato, 2001). Amato and Keith (1991) studied the welfare of children of divorce compared with that of children whose parents are still married to each other. Children from divorced families scored considerably lower on a range of outcomes and it was shown that these problems can persist into adulthood. Given the high rate of divorce and the negative effects it has on our youth, the implementation of effective prevention programs has great significance (Wolchik, West, Sandler, Tein, Coatsworth, & Lengua, 2000).
After understanding, and coping the problem a person can deal with their problem at hand by perhaps writing it down or writing about who hurt them, according to Melanie Tonia Evans, “this is self-recognition that will assist you in healing and reclaiming your right to perfect love, success and happiness.” A person can feel as if they were abandoned, unwanted, unloved, or forgotten. The most important thing though, is to stay positive about themselves at all costs. When a person loves themselves and is happy with their life it can make everything much easier and healing can begin. “Once you have validated and learned what you can from the experience, you can let it go and move forward. This won’t happen all at once. Those imprints are still there, and they need to be replaced with healthy, positive ones,” (Dania Vanessa.) The dysfunctional experiences that a person has from their childhood can pose as a learning experience that shaped someone into who they are now, from the hardships they
When divorced, the children go through many emotional changes. "Children of divorce are more depressed and aggressive toward parents and teachers than are youngsters from intact families. They are much more likely to develop mental and emotional disorders later on in life" (Leo 2000). Children and teenagers have a hard tim...
Most studies in marital conflict pertain to three particular dimensions of communication. The first dimension is affect which refers to messages that express positive or negative feelings about another person, such as supportiveness, hostility, confirmation, coercion, sarcasm, or global positiveness or negativeness (e.g., Gottman, 1979 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). The second dimension to characterize conflict behaviors is whether they are constructive or destructive for the parties’ relationship. Research in the United States indicates that exiting from the relationship and neglecting the partner are destructive problem-solving responses and are more powerfully predictive of couple distress than giving voice to problems and being passive loyal (e.g., Rusbult, Johnson, & Morrow, 1986). The third dimension to characterize conflict management is engagement versus avoidance (e.g., Hocker and Wilmot, 1991 and Sillars and Wilmot, 1994). Engagement is reflected in direct, overt verbal confrontation of conflict issues, while conflict avoidance is reflected in withdrawal and aversion to dealing directly with conflict issues (Canary, Cupach, & Messman, 1995) and includes circumscribed, irrelevant, or ambiguous communication. Since the purpose of this study is to examine the effect of culture on marital conflict strategies and marital satisfaction, the discussion will be limited to the third dimension of marital conflict, engagement–avoidance, along with Rahim's styles of conflict.
Couples facing the issue of whether to get divorced have many things to take under consideration. However, they need not forget about themselves when making such a life-altering decision. Couples need to consider their own welfare when contemplating divorce. They do not realize that how they feel and act affects how their children are going to feel and act. It also affects how the children may perceive things in life. “My own belief is that the effects on children should be one of the considerations in making such a decision, but it should not the major one. The major determinants should be whether or not the parents feel there is enough pain in their relationship to warrant its being broken” (Gardner, 38). That does...
Sobolewski, J.M., & Amato, P.R. (2007). Parents’ discord and divorce, parent-child relationships and subjective well-being in early adulthood: is feeing close to two parents always better than feeling close to one? Social Forces, 85(3), 1105-1124.
Kelly, J.B. (2000). Children's adjustment in conflicted marriage and divorce: A decade review of research. Journal of American Academy of Child & Adolescent. Psychiatry, 39, 963-973.
Interpersonal conflict is. Every relationship has conflict and determining on how the conflict is resolved or handled can make the relationship stronger or weaker. If someone is more easily to come up with a compromise rather than always getting their own way, they may have stronger relationships (Bevan and Sole, 2014). Television shows also use interpersonal conflict between their characters to find a solution or compromise in the end. Interpersonal conflict is all around us, it is how we handle that conflict that makes or breaks our relationships.
Until the twenty-second of March, I thought my parents were happy with each other and that they would be together for the rest of their lives, but that was not the case. I was given no reason to suspect that anything bad was occurring, but when I came home from school that day everything was revealed. My father told me that he had been wanting to speak to me alone. He looked fearful and bit anxious. I knew this conversation was going to be different from every other talk we have had. He started off with, “Please just listen and give me a chance to explain myself before you judge me.” I had nodded
In a divorce, the parents usually do not get along and may have different opinions on items. They may go to court and fight against each other about what factors caused the separation leading to the divorce and how the properties are divided. This possible exposure is very unhealthy for a child. The child sees his parents fighting and may learn from the behavior and display it. He or she may see that behavior as being an acceptable action. The fighting behavior of parents causes behavioral problems within a child. The child may hear things from one parent about the other that causes the child to take sides when he or she should be learning not to be biased and to love both parents equally.
Children will be suffered conflict with the interaction with their parents and siblings, and other aspects in their family life by cause of the divorce (Berk, 2010). Some parents who decide to get divorced that they were waiting the time on arguments and fights. Also, these parents use their children to punishment to one to each other. For this situation, children have a lot of conflicts on their emotions, and they have issues in their security. For instance, the custody’s fights are the biggest battle during the separation, and parents develop a lot of stress during this process. In the majority of the cases, mothers have the custody of their children, and they have to raise as a single mother. Also, the children tend to develop a lot of fears and about what they want to do. The divorce brings several negatives on children, and children live with a lot of stress during the divorce process. As well as, each child is different, and they
Considering that over 45 percent of marriages today end in divorce, it is crucial to understand recent research regarding the positive and negative effects of divorce on children’s mental health. Studies have shown that although children of broken homes generally have more adjustment difficulties than children of intact families, the distinction between these two groups appears to be much less significant than previously assumed (1). In the case of parental separation, studies suggest that children undergo a decline in the standard of living, exhibit poorer academic performance, engage in increased alcohol/ substance abuse, as well as experience diminishing rates of employment. However, underlying factors must be taken into consideration when assessing the long-term consequence of divorce on children, which happens to be resiliency rather than dysfunction (1). These key contextual factors that influence post-divorce adjustment include parenting styles, custody arrangements, age of the child, financial stability, and most importantly, the nature and magnitude of parental conflict. Persistent, unsettled conflict or violence is linked to greater emotional anxiety and psychological maladjustment in children, whereas negative symptoms like fear and insecurity are reduced when parents resolve their conflicts through compromise and negotiation. Although divorce unveils many risk factors involving a child’s health, it may be more beneficial rather than detrimental to children living in highly discorded families, in which children are able to acquire externalizing and internalizing behaviors (1). The development of coping skills and living in a supportive and empathetic environment are two crucial components for children to manage their ne...
...up to their parents as role models in their lives, would you want your child to partake in arguments with teachers or fellow students while in school? When it comes down to domestic violence within the parental relationship, the parents are to look at their argument from the child’s perspective and how detrimental it may be for the child in the long run. Children’s emotional effects from the arguments may include being anxious, nervous, depressed, confused, and embarrassed. These negative emotional states also could include nightmares about these arguments, distraught while at school, and social problems with friends. Lastly, how would a parent feel if the child believes the fighting is caused by the child? The amount of distress a child will endure if the child makes the fighting and arguments their own personal faults is damaging towards the child’s well-being.
Living in a developing society that is an opportunity could help people improve their skills such as in communicate and education. Moreover, when children grow up in good environment, they could have more condition to get good health and career. No doubt, from past to now, although people could live in any circumstances even poor or rich, they must have love from relatives and friends. However, love and belief are not only help people have happiness, but it also can make we disappointed. Certainly, I would not be exception, so a conflict was happened between my uncle’s family and I after one year I lived in the US. Because they are complained lot of my conduction individual such as rent payment, my jobs, and the top of our argument is they wanted me to leave their house, this problem could lead I thought about I should or should not live