Dumb in Love: Why Marriage Fails

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Divorce permeates Western society. This contemporary phenomenon creates many questions with the most common question of Many compare romantic love to blind infatuation. Merriam-Webster defines infatuation as deprivation of sound judgment or causing to be foolish. This state of infatuation or, as society refers to it, being in love is a very short-lived piece in the life of a relationship as it pertains to marriage. If more people understood the dynamics of the in love phenomenon, they may not be so hasty in making the decision to run to the altar and, consequently, to a judge to get their divorce papers signed. Since romantic love has a predictable lifespan, this experience alone does not suffice as a firm enough foundation for building a successful marriage.
Romance lives in abundance at the heart of most new relationships. The flowers and unexpected little surprises he shows up with, the way she gets all dolled up to go out on the exciting dates he plans, always eagerly awaiting the next adventure with one another; everything is so blissful and fun in the beginning. The other person seems perfect, flawless even. Getting to know all the exciting little details about each other comes with ease and everything is on the up and up. For some, this alone is enough to light up their world and set their dreams of forever in motion. All caught up in a frenzy of senseless emotions, he buys the ring, sets up the amazing date, purposes, the wedding planning begins, and, before anyone can rationalize anything, Boom! The perfect couple is on their way to Happily Ever After, or so they think. Once the honeymoon stage is over, the romantic love dissipates and leaves each partner wondering if they made the mistake of a lifetime.
What happened to...

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... to marriage counselors seeking guidance once this stage begins because they feel they do not love their partner any longer and fear divorce is the only available option. Real love is an attitude that leads to a change in behavior. Seeking the well-being of another and finding meaningful ways to express it, true love is selfless. (Chapman,190) Like romantic love, true love is still emotional in nature, but it is intentional, not obsessional; it requires work. Effort, discipline, willingness to work together in solving conflicts and learning to communicate effectively with one another are essential to crossing the bridge between romantic love and real love if the couple desires to obtain a healthy married life.

Works Cited

Chapman, Gary. Love As A Way of Life.
Chapman, Gary. Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married.
Chapman, Gary. The Five Love Languages.

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