Each and every day a child somewhere in the world is experiencing major changes within their family. One of those major changes is divorce or separation of parents. Divorce is “the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage”(Webster, 2011 p1). Today’s reality shows that couples only have one in two odds of remaining together. “ The U.S. Census bureau – involved in research about counseling children of divorce- estimating that approximately 50% of all American children born in 1982 lived in a single-parent homes sometime during their first 18 years. Mostly are due to divorce”(Children of Divorce, 2008 p.1). The rapid increase in divorce rates is a factor that has contributed to the large decline of the typical family. “Over 1 million children are involved in new divorces each year. Between 1966 and 1976 the divorce rate in the United States doubled. Currently 32% of children in the United States do not live with two married parents, this remains a highly significant number of children living in single-parent or reconstituted households”(Rich, Molloy, Hart, Ginsberg and Mulvey, 2001 p.163).
Divorce can be an emotional bumpy rollercoaster ride for children and parents. Children many times become pawns in bad separations and divorces. The children are sometimes forced to join sides or even choose side. However in other cases, some parents try to do everything possible to protect their children from the pain of separation and divorce. Although parents attempt to shelter their children from all the pain, they still end up with scars that follow them throughout life. Some children who have experienced these scars from divorce exhibit signs of anger, resentment, depression, neglect, isolation and have serious issues with...
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...al life, and make the children realize that post divorce if the children love both the parents equally, then it is absolutely okay. The biggest concern for children of divorce is that they think that divorce is their fault. So, the parents must not leave any stone unturned to guarantee that the children do not develop this opinion”(Divorce Group Counseling, 2009 p.2).
It is obvious that children of divorced parents with consciously or unconsciously know that there is parental tension in the marriage prior to any divorce of separation of their parents. Naturally a child would be affected in some form whether or not visible or not visible signs show. Therefore if parents are planning to divorce or separate they should prepare and assist their children by enrolling them into some type of group counseling to insure the transition with this life change is smooth.
Since the dawn of civilised society, children have suffered from losing one or both of their parents. “Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage” (Bilotta, 1). Children being brought out in single house household are more likely to become depressed and have problems with their peers. In addition “Family Timeline” by ProQuest, in 1920 points out that “The divorce rate is approximately eight per 1,000 marriages” and today that rate has skyrocketed to 50% (Proquest,1). Proquest clearly rationalizes why the divorce rate has risen. “As more women become educated and join the workforce divorce becomes economically possible for them” (Proquest, 2). Marriages have often been a necessity for
“At current rates, about 40% of U.S. children will witness the breakup of their parents’ marriages before they reach 18” (Cherlin). This started as a prediction that was thought up almost forty years ago, in 1984. Today, this is more or less an everyday occurrence; not every divorce is the same. Yet society tends to lean towards stereotypes of divorce, when it comes to the children and how they should be acting because of the divorce.
“Studies show 35% of people who marry get a divorce, and 18% of those divorced are divorced multiple times” Clinton, Hart, & Ohlschlager, (2005). The rate of divorce of United States families continues to increase and is one of the most perplexing experiences for children. There are many reasons couples decide to end their ties to each other. Whatever the reasons, ending a relationship means that all individual that has ties to each other must adjust to a new way of living. The married couple may experience the stages of loss, such as, the experience of grief. Additionally, their young children will undergo these feelings too! It is vital that couples with children seek guidance and understanding on how to help the entire family deal and cope with the emotional process and stages of grief of their divorce.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future, causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the California State Legislature changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing cause (Child Study Center, 2001).
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
According to the Council on Families In America, “for the average American, the probability that a marriage taking place today will end in divorce or permanent separation is calculated to be a staggering 60% and more than half of divorcing couples have children under the age of 18. The odds that a child today will witness the divorce of their parents, is twice as great as a generation ago, with as many as half of all children likely to experience a parental divorce before they leave home.”
Girgis, George, & Anderson (2011) define marriage as the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together. These marriages are intended to last eternity and are partially accomplished by raising children together, yet four of every ten marriages lead to divorce and of these divorces, 35% involve children (Ambert, 2009). Children tend to blame themselves for the divorce and are usually caught in the crossfire. These divorces lead to both stress and depression for children and without a strong sense of family, children will have a huge disadvantage over children with a stable healthy family (Arreola, Hartounian, Kurges, Maultasch, & Retana, 2013). Without the ability to cope with the stress of a divorce, children can be effected in multiple ways including a change in mentality, unacceptable behavioural traits and both short and long term emotional factors that will ultimately lead to a critical issue in child development.
When a couple with a child chooses to get a divorce this can have major impact on a child at any age. There are many causes of stress throughout the divorce process that can negatively affect children. First, negative reactions and behaviors are dependent upon the situation before the divorce. Some studies show that how much parents fight, how it is done, how it is resolved, and what precautions are taken to protect the children from it's effects are the most important predictors of child adjustment (Kelly, 2000). Meaning that if children are exposed to fights about custody, money, or the failing marriage they could feel the repercussions of their parents conflict. Next, divorce can cause children to have heightened fear...
Some parents who are going through a divorce wonder what the effects of their decision to dissolve the marriage will be on the children. Parents worry that their divorce will cause their children emotional problems that will last a lifetime. These worries are not unsubstantiated. Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary.
Adults are usually able to articulate their emotions and verbalize their distress, anger, pain and confusion to help themselves through this period of transition in their lives. As well, adults have the means and ability to seek outside professional assistance independently. Children on the other hand, are not as likely to have the ability to identify the source or kind of turmoil they are experiencing. Therefore, it is difficult for us, as adults, to be fully aware of the consequences of divorce on our children.
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.
Children are psychologically and socially affected by divorce and may need counseling either at the time of their parent’s divorce or in the future. They may react instantly by getting lower grades or becoming depressed or anxious. Younger children may begin to cling to the parent that remains in the home with them for they fear that both parents will eventually leave them. Older children may begin to rebel or become extremely disobedient and disrespectful. You may see unpleasant attitudes develop and they can become unsocial and no longer desire to be around their friends. Most children feel guilty for their parent’s ...
"Statistics show that each year, over 1 million American children suffer the decision made by parent 's to end their relationship" (Amato, 2001). Divorce is the factor that plays a role in many households rather individually planned or just happens. Many people seem to believe that a divorce on young children of age will completely destroy them growing up. Nobody wants to see the good it can do for the children. What if the situation was bad, and divorce was the only safe solution. A lot of adults believe the child is more upset about the family falling apart. In reality most times, it 's because they don 't want to leave home, friends, schools. It wasn 't till I was ten years old that I was aware of what happened.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.
Most couples will try their hardest to work things out within their marriage, but sometimes divorce can be the best option. You cannot force something to work if it cannot work naturally. This process is more difficult when there are children involved. Most parents do not want a divorce because they do not want to destroy their family. Most families want that ideal household, but no family is that perfect. Sometimes it is best for parents to get a divorce because they do not want a negative vibe in the household. Some children can completely understand while others cannot. That alone can add more stress on a parent. When dealing with divorce, it is important to just give love and support to one another. Parents that are going through divorce would love to have that social support from their children or friends. “However, parents had strong expectations for nurturant, informational, and tangible support from both friends and young adult children” (McManus, T. G., & Nussbaum, J. F., 2011, p. 245). Divorce is a stressor itself. With continuous stressors that are added on, it just makes the process much worse. If parents feel that getting a divorce is the best option, then it needs to be done. At this point, parents have to stop being selfish and just think about what is best for the children. Parents should want nothing but positivity surrounding their children and they will appreciate that in the long