The night before, I could not sleep. I lay awake tossing and turning. What was I to expect? What was I to call them? Mom? Dad? I will never forget the day I was lost and found, I was seven years old when I was adopted, but why? I often recall asking, when the subject of adoption came up “because we needed each other” my adoptive mom would patiently reply. Ever since I can remember my adoptive parents have been honest with me concerning being adopted. Although, I love my adoptive parents as they love me, howbut how do you get over the feeling not belonging to a family.of being “unwanted”? Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed about. I am truly grateful for how my life has turned out so far, but because of this my road has been hard to navigate.
My adoptive parents always wanted kids, and like many other families adoption did not even register in their minds. They tried to have biological kids of their own. the “normal way”. After many years of disappointments a greater purpose came into their life, me.. Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. And, sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower or heart.
Many years passed as I came to grip with the loss of what I thought I wanted, a relationship with my biological mother.relation. The f...
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...y do not define us,. tThey help us to expand in the knowledge of our grandeur. As I connect with the divinity that lies at the core, the beginning of my storyline will change. Instead, of tragedy we will see how we triumphed over the most difficult circumstances. Instead of living a dull life, we find the courage to face the unknown. Instead of sorrow, compassion fills our hearts for those who suffer pain like ours. We discover that we can live above the chaos, we know the self that never changes. So even when my problems overwhelm me, when the obstacle set before me seems to high and I have lost the last shred of confidence I once had in myself, do not let it beat me down. Strap on my armor, smear on the war paint, let out my best battle cry and charge head on into the unknown. Pain, suffering, insecurity and fear will not win. Life waits for no one.
Thanks MOM.
Adoption always appears as a happy time for the child and the new parents, however, internally it might not seem happy at all. According to Lydia Tarr, a parent who recently adopted a child, “stress is amplified by one hundred percent during the adoptive process.” (Karlsson) The Tenenbaum parents unfortunately couldn't handle that stress, and instead of taking Margot back, ignored her and the stress altogether. In th...
Frequently, adoptive families are struggling with issues of attachment, intimacy, and fear of abandonment (Suddeath, Kerwin, & Dugger, 2017). In fact, “Deep seated cultural beliefs in the values of kinship and maternal instinct cause us to view child relinquishment in terms of rejection and abandonment. Adoptees for which the adoption experience is a salient concern [may] tend to attribute relationship difficulties to that experience” (Feeney, Passmore, & Peterson, p. 141, 2007). Clearly, establishing a new family unit may be difficult due to unrealistic expectations, individual perceptions and social constructs (Shalay & Brownlee, 2007). As a result, adoptive families are at high risk for experiencing stress, relationship issues, and stigma
No one knows what it feels like to be someone that is adopted other than people who are. People who are adopted usually have an emotional impact as well as psychological effects because of being adopted. It took longer for me to find my own identity, and to develop what my identity is today even though I am still not 100% sure who I am. I also obtain a great amount of guilt or feeling lonely at some port in time. There are many times where I have felt unwanted or in some cases abandoned. This could mean the smallest impacts on my life such as a friend leaving or not wanting to hang out. A breakup can also be something that will impact me more than others could because of that feeling of abandonment. Though it is hard on myself it is also hard on the peop...
“American society and as more Americans have experience with adoption, there is also more attention focused on those involved in adoption- the adopted person, the birth parents, and the adoptive parents” (Child welfare Information gateway, 2016). Seeing that more and more Americans are adopting it is important to look at how a child’s emotional development can be impacted by adoption. The first is the development of their identity. Research as shown heat identity is difficult for anyone, however being adopted can have an added impact on one’s identity. The adopted child can began to ask questions like, “why was I placed for adoption? what is my place?, who do I look like?, do I have any siblings that could relate to me?” (Child welfare Information gateway, 2013). The adoptive child who then becomes an adult has gone through five stages according to article by the child welfare. The first is they do not acknowledge any adoption issues, the second ...
According to American academy and adolescent psychiatry, about 120,000 children are adopted in the United States alone. That is a lot of children that need to find a new home to stay in. Not only do adoptions affect the child after they are adopted, no matter the age; but adoption also affects the parents giving their child up for adoption. There are many types of adoptions. Along with that, there are many reasons for giving the child up for adoption. There are three main perspectives that I will be talking about. One function would be the structural functionalism. How society cooperates. The second would be the conflict perspective. The third would be symbolic interactionism approach. There are many different aspects of adoption, making it
To begin, what led up to my adoption. This was very difficult part of my life, which began when my mom and my dad split up. They broke up when I was very little and my mom met a guy that I really did not like. He was a major alcoholic and always beat my mom, brother and I. There have been times that we tried to get away but he would seem to always find us. This was when finally my brother and I ran away and which caused us to
Have you ever wondered what your parents look like or if they are thinking of you? Adoption can have that effect on children. What is adoption? Adoption is the process of providing parents with children and children with families when birth parents are unwilling or unable to care for their offspring. Adoption can make a child feel abandon, unloved, and have low self-esteem.
A wise man once stated, “For decades, I have supported adoption, and have helped tens of thousands of children worldwide” (Brainyquote.com). Pat Robertson has helped many children with adoption, portrayed in his quote. Adoption has assisted many children worldwide with that of health, reduces the cost to the tax payers, and the historical significance as well.
Many people grow up in loving families and cannot imagine not having their parents and siblings around, but each year, 18,000 or more American born babies are put up for adoption (Newlin Carney). That means at least 18,000 children face the harsh truth of maybe not having a family to grow up in. Childhood is a very important part of one’s life and helps shape who one is. These children that are eligible to be adopted just need loving parents, good homes, and stability. And who is to say the high price of adopting is not ho...
Adoption can give a child an amazing life when they would have otherwise had a difficult life. There are so many children taken out of bad situations everyday like the children who are adopted from foster care and orphanages. The children go to willing parents that want to give them the world. For the children that do not get adopted for various reasons can up living a difficult life in and out of group homes and foster houses with people that only want them because of the check that comes along with them. The children that adopted from birth from parents that decide they cannot give their child as decent of a life as another family could are amazing. This almost guarantees that the child will have a good life, and be cared for with love. Some birth parents like teenagers, homeless people, college students, and etc. who do not have life figured out and are struggling to take care of themselves or still under the care of someone else are perfect for ado...
Or what about a situation where a child you closely know is in need of a loving family? Maybe you were adopted, or your life has been deeply touched by adoption. Wouldn 't you want to benefit others lives in the same way? Now of course there are numerous hardships and dangers of adoption as well. The process of adoption can take anywhere from quite a few months to several years. You must connect with adoption agencies, complete home studies, submit important documents, and fill out possibly endless amounts of paperwork. The financial implications can also be quite large for the different required services to become an adoptive family. Also, when adopting, you don 't always know what you are getting yourself into. What health or behavioral issues will my new child have? Will they be strong and healthy? Or was their birth mother irresponsible during pregnancy causing developmental issues? All these aspects from how to adopt, why to adopt, and hardships of adoption will factor into ones decision to adopt and pursuing that decision, or
The best things in life come free to us. Our parents are one of the most important and fundamental in our life. However, people generally wonder, do adopted children feel the same way we do? Adoption is not easy, it's full of risks, simply because no one is aware of the future, the person adopting a child will never know how the child will react once he's aware he's adopted. Will they grow to love them, hate them, admire them or fear them? All of these unanswerable questions makes any person think twice before having the courage to adopt. Adoption never fails to put down any parents' feelings, whether they were homeless, abandoned, poor or runaway children and also families who don't have the option of being biological parents, the pleasure it gives to all of those people exceeds all of it's expected problems. However; adoption has some positive sides. It's one of life's fair treaties. It gives hope and integrity to the families who weren't fortunate to conceive; moreover, it changes the life of the child forever mostly positively. That's why many people support adoption worldwide.
...an sense that and begin to think that something is wrong with them or like they are not fitting in. For an adopted child, fitting in is a huge concern for them. Not only on the inside do they feel different, but on the outside they feel that they are not like other children because of who they parents are. They may also feel like they do not know who they really are because their birth is a missing piece of their life therefore they feel stranger to everyone. Being adopted can affect the child’s self esteem. However adopted children do not have to live their life with questions of the past holding them back. They can be just as successful as anybody else. For example Actor Jamie Foxx was adopted at the age 7 months. As long as we give them the same treatment, support, and opportunity to be somebody that will distract them from letting their past affect their future.
Whether a parent is considering placing a child up for adoption, or a couple is looking to adopt, adoption is a long and hard process. Because most parents who place their child up for adoption feel they are ”unfit” to be a parent in one way or another, adoption is a great thing. Adoption is done out of love for a child. By placing a child up for adoption, a parent is allowing a child the right to grow up in a family who will love and support them, which may not have been possible without the adoption process.
I was an orphan as a child, I never knew my Dad; and my Mum died at birth. My foster parents didn't love me, they used me as a tool, just saw me as an extra pair of hands to use around the house. I ran away at the age of sixteen, join...