The Process of Adoption
It is probably a pretty safe bet to say that everyone knows what adoption is, and it is probably pretty safe to say that everyone knows, or at least knows of, someone who is adopted. However, I would definitely think twice before betting that these people would also know what was involved in the process of adoption.
From the time I was a young girl, I have always thought that I would like to, not only have a child or children of my own, but to also adopt children. I used to envision marrying an African-American man, having an interracial child, and then adopting both a white and an African American child to make up a perfectly little interracial family. My siblings and I had a very happy childhood, we knew there were children in the world who did not have homes or parents, and we tried to convince our parents to adopt a new brother or sister for us. In the end, they decided that the four children they already had were plenty and our pleas were left unfulfilled.
Even today, as I look to my future and think about the different avenues before me, I still openly consider the prospect of adopting a child. Yet, I realize that my consideration is very basic and greatly uninformed. I only had one friend growing up who was adopted and I thought that it was 'neat' at the time. I knew close to nothing then about the whole procedure and unfortunately my knowledge has only grown minimally since then.
I would venture to say that there are many people in the world who have similar feelings. People who would like to let a needy child into their loving home, but do not know if they would qualify, have any rights, or have to pay a large sum of money. Also, in my mind, I pictured a happy union with a grateful and happy child. I did not contemplate the fact that these children often have many problems that they bring with them. Again, I would guess that others are unaware of this and unaware of how to handle such problems.
I realized that if adoption were ever to be a possibility for me that it was time I became informed. I have sought to answer some basic questions about the adoption process itself and the effects that it can have on the adopted children.
Adoption is the process of becoming the legal and permanent guardian of a child when there has been a termination of parental rights. "Termination of parental rights legally frees a child to be adopted by another person or persons, and may be voluntary or involuntary (court ordered)" (Children, p.4).
The decision to adopt is obviously life-altering for the adoptive parents as well as the adopted child. Neither the process nor the decision are to be taken lightly. There are many steps that must be taken before approval is given to the adoptive parents and the adoption legalized. "The adoption process begins with a Family Preparation which consists of meetings between the prospective adoptive family and a social worker and provides an opportunity for the family to learn more about and to seriously consider their motivations and expectations for adopting" (Adoption). This process can take anywhere from three to six months and generally includes a personal history, health statements, a criminal background check, an income statement, personal references, and numerous interviews.
Not anyone can adopt, but the guidelines for approval are not discriminatory or especially hard to meet. A physical examination and health statements are required, but being in perfect health is not. "A medical condition that is under control (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) usually would not prevent a person from being approved to adopt; however, a serious health problem that affects the life expectancy may prevent approval" (Adoption). Likewise, an income statement is required, but earning a large income is not. "You do not have to be wealthy or own your home to adopt. Even if you receive some type of assistance, you are still eligible to adopt as long as you have adequate resources to provide for your family" (Adoption). The other requirements are to be expected: interviews, personal history, background check, and references.
According to the Kentucky Adoption and Foster Care Program: "The steps to adoption for the Kentucky adoption program are easier then most people think."
These steps are as follows:
1. Call and express your interest. (INQUIRY)
2. Attend an information meeting to receive information about the children and the
process. (ORIENTATION)
3. Attend a series of meetings that will enable you to better understand the needs of the
children available. (PREPARATION GROUP)
4. While attending these meetings you will be asked to complete some forms. (PROFILE)
5. Meetings with a social worker in your home will provide an opportunity to get to know
each other. (FAMILY CONSULTATIONS)
6. Once you have completed steps 1-5, you will be ready to increase the size of your
family. (APPROVAL)
7. The next step will be to decide on the child(ren) for whom you will be the best parents.
(SELECTION)
8. Regular visits will then be scheduled, once you have been selected for a child(ren),
giving each of you the opportunity to get to know one another. (PLACEMENT)
(Children, p.2).
The majority of the children awaiting adoption are not simply sitting in institutions with little human contact and no sense of family. Most children waiting to be adopted are in foster care. Foster care provides temporary placement in a family setting. "Over 500,000 children in the U.S. currently reside in some form of foster care" (Foster). This is not to say that there are over 500,000 children waiting for adoptive parents. Actually, the number needing to be adopted ends up being much lower. "Two out of three children who enter foster care are reunited with their birth parents within two years. A significant number, however, can spend long periods of time in care awaiting adoption or other permanent arrangement" (Foster).
Making decisions about the future for a child in foster care can be difficult and controversial. "Options include: returning the child to his/her birth parents; termination of parental rights (a formal legal procedure) to be followed, hopefully, by adoption; or long-term care with foster parents or relatives. Most states encourage efforts to provide the birth parents with support and needed services (e.g. mental health or drug/alcohol treatment, parent skills, training and assistance with child care and/or adequate housing) so their child can be returned to them" (Foster).
The question of where to place a child has sparked many debates centered around what is in "the best interest of the child". Many people feel that the best interest of the child should be the only consideration, but a lot of attorneys caution that this way of thinking could backfire.
It was easy to be outraged while watching Baby Jessica being pulled crying and screaming from the arms of the only parents she had known and returned to the parents who had previously given her up. Concern over her best interests was certainly raised.
But going strictly to a system of focusing on "the best interest of the child" reaches into everyone's homes, not just the homes of adoptive and foster children. Attorney Richard Crouch says, "What this means is that the courts get to take a child away from its natural-born parents and "allocate" that child to somebody else who would seem to be a neater set of parents, in that court's view, simply on the ground that it would seem to accord with "the best interest of the child" "(Family Law). Crouch questions the long-term outcome of such thinking stating that "no one raised the question of what should happen if someday a misguided government, with different views of social nonconformity and how to deal with it from what prevails today, should want to take away their children." Today we are protected from such events by the constitution and the Supreme Court - "courts are not free to take children from parents simply by deciding another home appears more advantageous" (Family Law). However, family laws and adoption laws could change in the future.
Part of the concern over Baby Jessica was about her future well-being, if she would be able to adjust to a new family, or if she would have problems. Children awaiting adoption have usually lived through far too much pain and sorrow for their short number of years. This past does not magically fade away upon getting a new family, rather it creates some problems that must be identified and overcome. Many adopted children face numerous medical conditions.
Abandonment and abuse issues are extremely common with adopted children. The child's inability to properly deal with these issues while struggling to understand and find identity and self worth leads to dysfunctional behavior. Family Therapist and counselor J. Lynn Rhodes found in a study of adopted children and birth children that "behaviors seen more frequently in adopted children than in birth children were : inability to give or receive affection, self destructive behavior, cruelty to other people, phoniness, problems with food, thinking about fire, blood or gore, superficial attraction to and friendliness with strangers, substance abuse, and promiscuous sexual activity" (Perspectives).
The problems that these children face can be correctable, as in dysfunctional behaviors, or they can be in the form of handicaps or birth defects. A list of the most common problems found among adopted children includes: abuse (physical, sexual, and emotional), attachment problems, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), drug exposure in utero, developmental disabilities, emotional disabilities, educable mental handicapped (EMH), fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), and learning disabilities. (Children, p.4).
Facing all these medical conditions can be a frightening prospect to, or even a deterrent of, potential adoptive parents. Over 120,000 children are adopted every year in the United States. Is it a game of luck whether you choose a child with numerous medical problems or are you made fully aware of your child's problems?
"This past year marked the first known substantial recovery in California against a county adoption agency for its failure to disclose to adopting parents their adopted child's medical and psychological history" (Wrongful). But it is important to know that a claim must be filed within six months against an adoption agency if there is suspicion of fraud. These claims do have legal standing in a court of law. According to Civil Code Section 224s: "No agency shall place a child for adoption unless a written report on the child's background, if available, and so far as ascertainable, the medical background of the child's birth parents, has been submitted to the prospective adopting parents and the prospective adopting parents have acknowledged in writing the receipt of such a report. The written report on the child's background shall contain all diagnostic information which is known, including current medical reports on the child, psychological evaluation, and scholastic information, as well as known information regarding the child's developmental history and family life" (Wrongful). Adoptive parents are rightfully entitled to information on their child's medical, scholastic, and family history. And most have children have already received residential treatment for problems through the adoption agency.
What if an adopted child wished to locate birth parents or siblings? The Adoption Disclosure Laws are different from state to state. In Kentucky, the adoptive parents can have access to records with the consent of the birth parents. If this consent is not established then there are two methods. First is a method called Passive Registry where - "at least two parties are required to register with a public or private agency in order for a match to be made. Some registries require as many as five signatures (both adoptive parents, both birth parents, and the adoptee)" (State). Second, is an Intermediary System. "Intermediaries are individuals approved by the court to have an adoption file released to them upon petition by an adoptee or birth parent. The intermediary then searches for the other party to obtain consent for identifying information to be released" (State). In Kentucky, to locate birth siblings, "adoptees 18 years of age or older may register with the Cabinet for Human Resources their desire to have contact with "preadoptive siblings." If the siblings register, and are eighteen years of age or older, identifying information will be released" (State).
This paper only provides a basic understanding of the adoption process. A full understanding would require contact with an adoption agency and its social workers. The decision to adopt is an incredibly involved decision, but one that can feasibly be achieved. The Kentucky Cabinet for Families and Children does not charge an adoption fee, though you can be responsible for some legal fees in finalizing the adoption. And as stated earlier the requirements for approval are not extremely rigorous.
These children are not perfect and are not looking for perfect parents. They have emotional scars from a disorderly and often turbulent childhood. They have problems, especially with attachment and trust, that need to be understood and nurtured. They need a lot of patience and love, but above all they want a family and to feel that they belong.
I still would like to adopt in the future. Doing this research has not weakened my resolve, it has only made me more aware of what I might face with my new child and the preparations that I need to make. These children are struggling with being given away and feeling unwanted. I have the patience and the determination to make a child or children feel loved, wanted, and comfortable enough to get past their emotional scars. I hope there are many others who feel the same way.
Works Cited:
Alexander, Richard. Wrongful Adoption: Fraud by Adoption Agencies. The Consumer Law Articles. .
Rhodes, J. Lynn. Perspectives. Family Journal, 1993.
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Crouch, Richard. Best Interest of the Child: Is That What You Really Want? Family Law.
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Foster Care. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 1997.
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The Adoption Process. .
Children Waiting to be Adopted: Wednesday's Child. Kentucky Adoption and Foster Care Program, Spring/ Summer Volume II, 1999.
State Adoption and Disclosure Laws. .
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