The Power over Oneself

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College Admissions Essay - The Power over Oneself

It's not difficult for me to say what books have actually changed my life:

Peter Handke's The Left-Handed Woman

Elias Canetti's Kafka's Other Trial and The Voices of Marrakesh

Roberto Calasso's The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony

It wasn't until I put these four books together that I recognized what they have in common: reading. Each involves, in one form or another, an exquisitely scrupulous act of "reading"-of a fictional woman (Handke), of Kafka's tormented relationship with Felice Bauer (Canetti), of a sun-dazed North African city (Canetti), of Western mythology (Calasso).

But why these four in particular? Perhaps because, in my opinion, they manifest a rare and complicated love for their subject, a love that is borne of those forms of attention which dissolve the barriers between observer and observed. Perhaps because, as Mr. Canetti himself has written, they "penetrated me like an actual life." In any case, it has been my experience that this kind of reading leads to a kind of "power" -- a power not over others, but over oneself.

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